Hollow
by SloaneKato
Summary: Roxas is cut off from life, just wanting someone to listen, and Axel just wants someone to tell him what's going on. When Riku turns on Sora and attacks Roxas, will Axel be able to save Roxas from the memories that haunt him? Rated for language.
1. Introductions

I'm standing against the brick wall, one foot against it, head tilted towards the sky, and I'm humming the melody of the music in my head. Sometimes I just hear music; not like songs stuck in my head, it's just...music. Like a band is playing in my head, all the time. It's beautiful, but I can never share it with anyone. Not that there's anyone to share it with.  
>My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I pull it out and look at the parking lot. It's 5, and I'm still at school waiting for a ride. I can't drive yet, since my family doesn't have the 300 bucks to pay for drivers ed. My dad's car is there-it's him calling me.<br>"Seyah," I mutter to the kid sitting next to where I stood as I walk to the car. I don't know why they're there, I guess they just need to feel like there's some one there or something. I don't know them very well. I don't want to.  
>My dad mutters a hi under his breath and starts driving before I'm buckled in; hell, my door's still open. I stare out the window and at my reflection the entire ten minutes it takes to get home. He's complaining about my mum again. I mutter the occasional yeah and nod, not paying attention. I'm transfixed on the boy who stares back at me in the mirror. His eyes are so green. So hollow. Is that really me? My eyes used to be so full.<p>

It's 10pm, and I'm sitting on my bed, scratching the flesh from my body with a shard of glass. I don't know why I do it, really. I just get these urges, and this is the only one that doesn't cost me money. Alcohol and smokes cost money, a shard of glass is easy to find around here. My mom's always breaking glasses. I don't think she means to, but every time she's mad, she breaks something; usually by chucking it in my general direction. She gets madder when things break, and then starts screaming about how I always break things. I've learned over the years that not speaking will make it bad, but standing up for myself will make it ten times worse.  
>So where's my dad? He's around. He sleeps a lot, usually he's mad when he's awake. They fight a lot, but mostly it's just her yelling at him because we're always broke. It's just stress. She's not a bad person.<br>I sigh, laying down on my bed, letting the blood slowly slip out of the shallow cuts, more like scratches or grazes. It burns. I sit back up, and I put my shard away and go to the bathroom to wash my wounded arm. No big deal. I get on my computer, check my near-empty Facebook. I have friends, don't get me wrong, I have plenty. I just don't...talk to them much. I don't really trust people so much. There's people I could go to, and probably should, but I just... don't know what I'd say to them.  
>There's really no reason for me to be so damned depressed and anxious all the time, my life isn't half bad. Sure, my mum's borderline abusive and we never have much money, but there's a lot of people who would give an arm and a leg for this kind of life.<p>

I guess I fell asleep sometime around 2, after staring at the ceiling for an ungodly time. I woke up at 6:25 when my mom barged into my room. I groaned and ran my fingers through my hair before throwing on a pair of jeans and buttoning the long sleeved black button up I'd gone to bed in. I'm not a morning person these days. Only on Mondays. Today's... Thursday? I think. Yeah.  
>School passes me by, most my classes are spent staring at either the floor or out the window. Or at this one kid who's in most of my classes.<p>

"Hey," a voice says. I look up from my feet at the boy I always stare at during class.  
>"Hey yourself."<br>"Do you have a staring problem?"  
>"Obviously."<br>"Mind if I sit?"  
>"It's just grass. You don't have to ask."<br>"I'm... Roxas."  
>"I know."<br>"You're supposed to give me your name."  
>"Why?" I say, shivering from the cold gust of wind. Water drops on my head, and I frown. The school kicked everyone out for the day.<br>"I don't know, because that's how it works?"  
>"Fine. My name's Axel. Commit it to memory, I won't repeat it."<br>"...Right." Roxas says, shifting slightly closer to me.  
>Thunder roars in the distance, and before I know it I'm tackled to the ground by a screaming Roxas. How annoying. "Calm the fuck down, it's just a storm."<br>"My parents died in a hurricane."  
>"Sorry." I look at my phone. It's only 2:50. "Want to walk home with me? Rather than sit here."<br>"S-sure."  
>I sigh, and put ear buds into his ears and blast Hollywood Undead from my mp3 player-no, I don't have an iPod. I'm too cool (read:broke) for an actual iPod.<br>Roxas smiles. "I didn't know you liked them!" He screams it, because I'm really blasting it. I guess the kid might want to hear tomorrow, so I turn it down a bit.  
>I just nod and drag him along the sidewalk to my house. We get there about 40 minutes later, after it's done raining. Somehow, Roxas managed to slip his hand into mine. I let it go, awkwardly digging around for my keys in my backpack. "Shit. Um, stay there and I'll open the door for you."<br>"Wha-?"  
>I open the window and hoist myself through, then open the door and let Roxas in. "You want food or anything?"<br>"Nah, I'm good."  
>"'Kay." I say, and grab a sea-salt ice cream out of the freezer. I don't know why I took this guy home, I don't actually know him. I'm more confused as to why the blond followed me. "So, forgive me for asking, but if you don't live with your parents, who do you live with?"<br>Roxas looked down at his hands. He was sitting on the couch, awkwardly. I sprawled out next to him, eating my ice cream.  
>"My half brother and my cousin. Why?"<br>"I see. Just curious."  
>"Curiosity killed the cat, Axel."<br>"I'm not a cat."  
>"That's a pity," Roxas muttered, then looked at me. "What is that?"<br>"Sea-salt ice cream," I answer. "Ever had it?"  
>He shook his head.<br>I hold my ice cream out to him. "Try it."  
>Roxas took a little bite out of it. "Whoa! That's...amazing!"<br>"I know, right? I'm an addict." I say, grinning. The look on Roxas's face is priceless. If I hadn't known better, I'd think he was having an orgasm. I can't help myself from smiling.  
>Roxas turns bright red, not as red as my hair but red enough to be obvious. He hands my ice cream back and looks down at his hands. I take a bite of it. "Hey, Axel?"<br>"Yeah?"  
>"You know I'm gay, right?"<br>"Like I care. Why?" I say, with a small snort like noise. "If you're trying to come on to me, you're doin' it wrong. If I weren't so intimidating, I would only assume you were afraid of me and be offended."  
>"Wh-what? I'm-I'm not!"<br>I smirk. "Relax, kid. I'm just saying not to be so nervous around me. I won't touch you. You're too young for me."  
>"I'm 16!"<br>"Why are you defending yourself, if you don't like me? You're not very convincing, Roxy baby."  
>He blushed even harder. "Don't call me that!"<br>"Axel, don't torture your friends."  
>Roxas jumped as suddenly my mom was standing in front of us.<br>"He's not my friend, mom. He's my lover. This is how two guys do it."  
>"Axel, I'm not stupid." She said, and went up stairs to her room. See? She's not so bad.<br>Roxas was blushing from head to toe now, though I'm not entirely sure why.  
>"So, you need to be anywhere any time soon?"<br>Roxas shook his head.  
>"Wanna have some fun?" I purr into his ear, catching his earlobe gently with my teeth.<br>Roxas made a small noise that sounded like a suppressed moan and stuttered out a short okay.  
>"Awesome. I have Naruto or Mario or we could watch anime."<br>"Wh-what's anime?"  
>"Only the best thing ever. God, you poor deprived child!"<br>I dragged him into my room and put on Loveless. Roxas looked frustrated. "I don't get it."  
>"Don't worry, I don't think you're supposed to." The first episode was kind of a what the fuck moment for everyone. I glanced over at him, and smirked. I never would have thought I'd get the kid I stared at during school in my room, on my bed. I laid down, stretching luxuriously, and pulled him down into me.<br>Roxas made a small squeak noise but didn't fight me, and soon I realized that the kid was sleeping.  
>"Psst, Roxas!" The boy twitched. "Psssssssssssssssstttttttt." He still didn't respond. I sighed. Great, now there's some kid I hardly know sleeping on me. Awesome.<br>About a half hour later, Roxas flipped out and jumped away, apologizing like mad. I waved it away. It wasn't that big of a deal. Besides, it was kind of cute. Kind of.  
>"Wanna stay for dinner, Roxy?"<br>"I-I don't know if I should-"  
>"How likely is it that your brother and his cousin are going to feed you?"<br>"Not very..."  
>"Then you're eating here. You can eat my broccoli. I'll slip it to you under the table."<br>"I'm not a dog!"  
>I blinked. "You aren't?"<br>Roxas glared at me, but then smiled a little.  
>"Hey Roxy?"<br>"I told you not to call me that."  
>"No, you told me not to call you Roxy baby."<br>"Okay, fine. What?"  
>"I'm bored."<br>"What do you want to do? It's your house."  
>"Hmmmm. Wanna play Truth or Dare?"<br>"There's only two of us, but sure, Axel, I'll play with you." Roxas said, grinning. "You can start."  
>"Okay, Truth or Dare?"<br>"Truth."  
>"Loser!" I shouted, but then went to think up a truth. "Okay, Roxy, How far have you gone with a guy?"<br>Roxas blushed, and looked away. "I haven't really..." he sighed. "I've only ever kissed girls, and even then it was only a small peck on the lips."  
>I sighed. "You're so innocent, it's crazy."<br>"I know... Anyways, Truth or Dare, Axel?"  
>"Hmm, let's go for truth, because your dares probably suck."<br>"Ha, okay. I see how it is," he said, smirking. "So, Axel, how far have you gone with someone?"  
>"Mm, way further than you. With both genders. And a tranny."<br>"As in?"  
>"Making out shirtless, major groping, heavy petting, fingering, hand jobs, you know. The usual." Roxas stared at me in what looked like awe. I smirked, leaning in closer. "If you ever want me to teach you, just ask, baby." I said, breathlessly, lightly kissing his neck. I pulled away from him.<br>He opened his eyes slowly, a dreamy look on his face. "Why'd you stop?"  
>"Truth or Dare, Roxas."<br>"Dare."  
>I grinned. "I dare you to kiss the person you like tomorrow at school."<br>"I can just do it now, if you want."  
>I raised one perfect eyebrow. "Oh?"<br>Roxas nodded.  
>"Well too bad, that wasn't the dare."<br>Roxas shrugged. "Truth or Dare?"  
>"Dare, I guess."<br>"Teach me how to kiss."  
>I grinned. "Dare accepted, cutie." I leaned over and pressed my mouth to his. He kissed back, and I started kissing faster. I caught his lower lip between my teeth and nibbled lightly, causing him to let out a small noise-not quite a moan, but to the same effect. I licked his lips, my tongue achingly slow. Roxas's lips parted slightly, and I slid my tongue into his mouth, gripping the back of his head as I pushed him down onto his back. My tongue explored his mouth, which tasted of sea salt ice cream and cookies. I slid one hand up his shirt, ghosting over his chest. He grabbed my arm, pulling it out from under his shirt with a small smile, never parting.<br>A knock at my door made me break away, leaving Roxas laying there as I get up and open my door.  
>"Dinner's ready. Your friend still here?"<br>"Yeah, he is."  
>I glance back at Roxas, who was now sitting up and fixing his hair that'd gotten more messed up because of me. I closed my door and messed it up. He scowled at me as I led him to the kitchen and filled two plates up, one for him and one for me. Chicken Napoleon, my favorite thing my mum makes.<br>Now don't get me wrong, I love spicy food, but I really love anything with tomatoes in it. So, naturally, when I noticed Roxas avoided his, I stole them off his plate, much to his surprise. My mum glared at me, but it was clear Roxas didn't really care, as he just went on eating his pilaf and chicken, so I ignored it. The table was mostly quiet, because my mum was weary of anyone I brought home, and Roxas was scared shit-less. I didn't blame him, considering he was in the house of someone he'd never spoken to before this day, and had just experienced his first make out session.  
>I waited, bored, while Roxas scooped the last bit of his food into his mouth. Then I took both of our plates and set them in the sink, and led him back into my room.<br>"Shall we continue our game?"  
>"Yeah. It's your turn."<br>"I know. Truth or dare?"  
>"Hmm, truth. I don't wanna find out about my gag reflex just yet."<br>"Dammit!" I said, with mock disappointment. "Guess I won't be needing to find any Popsicle sticks after all...Anyways," I sighed as he playfully smacked me on the arm. "Well gee, I was gonna ask if you wanted to go out, but you're awfully abusive, I'm not sure I want to now..." I said, pouting and rubbing my arm.  
>Roxas rolled his eyes. "Are you actually going to ask me something, or just whine?"<br>I took a deep breath, preparing for rejection. "Okay, Roxas. Do you want to be my boyfriend? As in, Facebook official, holding hands and making out in the hallways on people's lockers boyfriend?"  
>"I don't know, how much will you pay me?"<br>"I'll pay you in hugs and kisses and sex and food and cuddles and blow jobs. Sound good?"  
>Roxas blushed and nodded.<br>"So that's a yes to being my boyfriend as well, right?"  
>He nodded again.<br>"Okay, stay here, I have to go change my relationship status on Facebook and gush to all my exes about how damned cute you are."  
>Roxas blinked, and then followed me anyways. I sat in the computer chair, and patted my lap. Roxas sat down on my lap, wrapping an arm around my neck. I wrapped an arm around his waist, nuzzling his shoulder before opening Mozilla Firefox and getting on facebook.<br>"Axel Balthazar Brenton has the cutest Roxy ever on his lap :']." I typed in the status bar before going to my profile and changing my relationship status to "in a relationship with Roxas C. Amory" and logged out.  
>"Log into yours and accept it, or I'll cry."<br>"I just got the sudden urge to ignore it," Roxas said, as he opened his request box.  
>"No! Please, Roxy?" I said, pouting.<br>Roxas rolled his eyes. "I was just kidding, Axel. Quit squirming or I'll miss the accept button." I sat still and Roxas clicked accept and then logged out. I logged into mine, where I already had five notifications.  
>Larxene Lightening Simmons: Ew.<br>Demyx LikeaBoss Thorman: Bout time! Congrats on the new lay, dude.  
>Zexion Thorman liked your status.<br>Xigbar Jenson: AXEL WHAT ABOUT ME? I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME. THINK OF THE CHILDREN! Jk, have fun with your little boy toy ;D  
>Sora Amory: Hey! Why didn't you guys tell me you knew each other? :'[ I feel so left out.<p>

Roxas's phone buzzed, and I took it from his pocket before he could react. "Ooo, a text!" I said, grinning. I opened the message, struggling as Roxas tried to grab it from my hand. "Roxas, come home, it's a school night. Riku's having a panic attack trying to fix dinner."  
>"What's Riku doing at Sora and your house making dinner?"<br>"They're engaged, Axel. Old news. Gimme that."  
>Woah, engaged? I mean, I knew they were a thing but engaged? Weren't they a little...young? "Hold on," I said, batting his hands away and putting my number into his phone. "Text me later, okay?"<br>Roxas nodded and jumped off my lap, slipping his phone into his pocket. "I guess I should go before they burn my house down. As much as Riku looks like a woman, he fails at cooking like one."  
>"So you're a master chef?" I asked, teasingly.<br>"Better than you."  
>I snorted. "Contrary to popular belief, I'm fully capable of cooking gourmet meals, Roxy."<br>"You'll have to prove it to me. Pictures or it didn't happen."  
>"Tomorrow. Here. Best god-damned goulash you'll ever eat."<br>"You're on."  
>I stood up and dragged him to the living room. "Hey mom, can you take Roxas home?"<br>She muttered something and then got her keys.

****

The water is cold, constricting my breathing as it pours down my back. My breath is shaking and my muscles are tightening, cramping, from the cold. I could easily turn the water to hot, but I endure.  
>"C'mon, Roxas, you're stronger than this." I mutter under my breath, cringing as the muscles in my leg tighten. I bend my head down to wash the coconut conditioner out quickly, and slam the water off with one cramping foot.<br>I'd been in the shower nearly twenty minutes, the water as cold as I could get it. I didn't want to think. Already I felt the never ending feeling that this was all too good to be true. That soon it'd be over; I'd get hit by a bus or something, the world would end, I'd contract some rare disease.  
>For Axel to like me-Axel, the loner goth kid, arguably the hottest guy in our school-to like me, the small, quiet, average emo kid... It was simply too far-fetched. Larxene was right; ew. That was the perfect way to describe me. My face is chubby, my eyelashes too long and dark, my body too small and thin, my hands and feet and head were too big for my body. My skin is too tan, my hair is too straw colored.<br>But Axel- Axel was godly, with his perfect tan, his tadpole eyebrows, his tear-drop tattoos, his emerald eyes. His body is long and thin and toned, perfect in all ways. His hair is so vibrant, always spiked flawlessly. Let's face it, the man was a god.  
>Meanwhile, I'm just pedo-bait.<br>I dry myself off and throw on my boxers and a t-shirt, heading to my room, which I shared with my half sister Namine when she lived with us-now she mostly spent all her time at her girlfriend Kairi's house. My parents weren't too pleased when they had found out that all three of their children were gay; but I guess it didn't matter anymore. They were gone now. They'd been gone for years.  
>"Hey Roxas, thanks for making dinner tonight," said a voice.<br>I looked up from my bed to see Riku leaning against my door frame. "Don't mention it, Riku," I said, casually, and went back to reading my computer screen.  
>"Roxas, I-," Riku started, then caught on that I wasn't listening. "I need to talk to you."<br>I sigh, and set my laptop to the side. "Okay, what do you need to talk to me about?"  
>He rubbed his temples. "Roxas, is Sora cheating on me?"<br>I stare blankly at him. "Are you stupid or something? Sora, cheat on you? You have got to be kidding me. What would make you think such a thing?"  
>"Well, he hasn't been talking to me lately, and...he's just been so distant lately..."<br>I groan. "You want me to talk to him?"  
>Riku nodded, and I pushed myself off my bed and flung myself over the back of the couch, landing next to Sora. Sora slides his arms around my waist and leans his head against my shoulder, and I groan, because I can tell he's crying, and now there's a giant wet spot on my shoulder.<br>"What's wrong?"  
>"R-Riku-," Sora utters out the name and then starts sobbing like a little kid. I pat his head, slowly, calmly.<br>"Yes, Sora? What about Riku?" I ask, once he stops sobbing and is now just crying softly.  
>"Riku broke up with me!" Sora says, and goes back into sobbing into my shirt.<br>"What?" Riku never mentioned that! What the hell? "What happened? Did you guys fight?"  
>Sora shook his head. "He came home really angry and told me it was over, and I don't even know why!"<br>"Did you do anything to piss him off recently?"  
>"Well, this morning I got in a tickle fight with him..."<br>"I somehow don't think that's the problem, Sora."  
>Sora's practically curled up in my lap now, like he's a little kid. I rub his back gently. "I don't know what happened, Roxas, it's like he just started hating me!"<br>"Sora, were you cheating on Riku?" I ask, quietly.  
>Sora gasped, and pulled away from me, bloodshot blue eyes wide. "Oh no! He probably saw me fixing that guy's tie and thought-oh, no no no no!" Sora said, panicking. "Oh, Roxas, what do I do?"<br>I sigh. "Do you want me to go talk to him?"  
>Sora nods, and hugs me tight. "Thank you, Roxas! I owe you a million cookies for this!"<br>I push him off me and go back to find Riku, who's sitting in the game room, headphones in his ears. Why doesn't he just go home? Whatever. I pull one earbud out, and he jumps about half a foot and then collects himself, hiding his face with his hair.  
>"He wasn't cheating on you."<br>"I saw him kissing-"  
>"He was fixing a tie."<br>"So he wasn't-"  
>"He wasn't cheating on you. Now go have make-up sex or something, so he'll stop crying like a three year old every time he sees an old person on TV."<br>"Is he really-"  
>"Yes, he is crying that much. It's Sora. He never runs out of tears. Now go shut him up, so one of us can get some sleep tonight, okay?"<br>Riku grins, something that's rare for him to do around anyone but Sora, and I blink. He was actually kind of cute when he smiled. I still didn't understand what Sora saw in the guy, he was really pretty arrogant. I mean, obviously he wasn't a jerk to Sora, but still.  
>I patted him on the shoulder and went back to my room, crashing. I fell asleep on impact.<p>

"You forgot to text me last night," says a dark voice from behind me. I jump, and turn around, back against my locker.  
>A hand reaches into my pocket, taking my phone, and he walks away without a word.<br>"W-wait!" I say, running after him. "I'm sorry, okay?"  
>He keeps walking, not even bothering to slow down. I growl in frustration, and stop short. He keeps walking down the hall. I growl loudly, and charge, launching myself at him. He stumbles forward as I land on him, my arms wrapped around his neck and my legs around his narrow waist. Axel regains his balance, and seems to slow slightly from my weight, but doesn't stop walking. It's then that I realize that he probably couldn't hear me, because he has ear buds in. And having someone jump on his back is completely normal for him; he gives piggy back rides to Demyx and even Kairi and Namine all the time. I pull one out, and say a small "hey" into his ear, my voice slightly raspy.<br>"Your womanly wiles won't work on me, Roxas."  
>"I hope you realize women don't have cocks, Axel."<br>"I knew there was something wrong with that hooker. She was awfully cheap..."  
>I hit the side of his head. "Didn't you pay attention to all that porn you watch?"<br>"Mmm, sorry Roxy, but it was all gay porn."  
>I sigh. "I'm sorry I didn't text you last night, after I played messenger for Sora and Riku I kind of just crashed."<br>"It's fine," he said, turning the corner.  
>I moved some of his hair out of the way and bit his neck, pulling at the skin. He squirmed a little and dropped me. I made a very manly squeak as I wobbled. Axel snorted and set me on my balance again, only to shove me up against the wall. I look up into his emerald eyes, feeling my blood freeze at the look in his eyes. Or, the lack there of, I should say. "Are you alright, Axel?"<br>He blinked, and his eyebrows turned up slightly. "No, I'm not. You forgot your dare."  
>"Is that why you're so pissed off? Really?"<br>"I'm not pissed off."  
>"Could've fooled me, 'cause you're sure acting like a real ass, Axel."<br>"Roxas, calm down. I'm just...hungry. Chill out."  
>"You're hungry? Really? I'm supposed to just take that and not question it?"<br>"Uh, yeah."  
>"I don't think so."<br>"I'm sorry you can't accept it, Roxas. Either way, I'm going to get food before I pass out." Axel kissed me on the cheek and went towards the cafeteria.  
>I blink, shaking my head and going to my locker, the spot he kissed tingling. I toss my bag in and take out a binder before slamming it closed and wandering off to find Axel.<p>

People wander through the halls, limbs missing and blood covering their clothes. The school is crumbling from an explosion, fire getting closer and closer. It's going to engulf me, I realize, but I then notice that my shoes have melted to the floor and I can't move. My breathing hastens, and I feel anxious, the anxiety coursing through me as I watch the fire grow closer and closer, my peers stumbling like the living dead.  
>A hand grabs me, and I jump, my heart shooting out of my chest. I grab onto it and look towards my attacker with wide eyes, still shaking. "Are you okay, dude? You don't look so hot." A male voice speaks, and there's something strange about it, but I can't think of it because my mind is still trying to figure out what the hell just happened.<br>I shake my head, dispelling the illusion. "Yeah, yeah, I'm good." I pinch my temples, steadying my breathing so my chest doesn't hurt anymore. I open my eyes to see a normal, everyday school. I'm halfway to the food-window, snack bar, or what have you. The guy beside me is a short blond, and I realize it's Roxas after staring blankly at him for a few minutes.  
>"Do you normally have panic attacks in lines?" He asks, bored.<br>"Only on Tuesdays."  
>"It's Friday."<br>I glare at him. "Too bad, it's Tuesday now."  
>"Errm, okay then..." Roxas says, and traces the brick wall with his fingers.<br>"By the way, when I say kiss, I don't mean some bullshit peck on the lips, just so you know."  
>Roxas rolls his eyes. "You never said when today I had to do it, Axel. Quit begging."<br>I pout slightly, as I punch my number into the keypad and get breakfast; a bagel, orange juice, milk and a cookie.  
>Roxas walks with me down the hall as I stuff my face with the bagel, then wash it down with an orange juice. I offer him a bite of my cookie, which he refuses, and then scarf that down and drink the milk.<br>I shove all the wrappers and the orange juice carton into the small plastic milk container and toss it into the trash. I drag Roxas off into the back halls of the school, which are little explored.

***  
>I'm mildly confused as to why I've just been dragged into the labyrinth that is the school basement, but I don't bother asking. Axel doesn't seem to be one to question. So I don't question his motives.<br>That is, until I'm shoved against a wall, his mouth on mine. I can't really see this close, but I can make out the flash of green; his eyes are open wide, while I feel my own blue eyes closing slowly. Maybe I'm just paranoid or something, but doesn't it mean you aren't into them if you don't close your eyes while devouring their face?  
>Oh well, I don't really care if this relationship is faked. It happens a lot, the person I found pleasing to the eyes asks me out, and we go out, but it never gets very far because neither of us feels anything toward the other. No big deal. Maybe I'm just asexual or something, or maybe I've just read too much romantic fluff in my time and now the real thing is just depressing and lame to me. I don't know. It would happen.<br>I really wish the lights down here weren't so dim, because when I open my eyes again, I can hardly make out the bright green of Axel's eyes. Then I realize why; they're half way closed.  
>I can't really say I'm feeling anything, but then again, I wouldn't know if I was considering I don't really know what to expect. All I know is that Axel's tongue is in my mouth, and I'm fighting with it. My hands are by my sides, and I feel like I should be doing something with them, but I don't know what it is I should do with them. Axel has one hand cradling the back of my head, the other at my waist.<br>I push on his chest and he breaks away, and I sink down the the floor. Axel sits down next to me, with a small oompf. The bell rings, but neither of us bother going to class-it's just homeroom, so why bother? I rarely ever go. Maybe once a week, and even then I just sleep.  
>Sleep...sounds really good right now.<p>

I really don't think this kid likes me. I don't know why, I mean it's not like he openly rejects me or anything. He's just kind of... dead. Like me, I guess. It's kind of scary, to think that there's someone that hollow. Maybe the fact that he's always alone and never talks would have been a good indicator, but there's just something wrong with this kid.  
>Speaking of which, Roxas is now slumped over, head in my lap, sleeping like a baby.<br>"Goddamn, am I that boring, little Roxy?"  
>Roxas stirred in his sleep, but was, undeniably, asleep.<br>"Guess that's a yes, isn't it?" I sighed and pulled him onto my lap, letting his head rest on my shoulder.  
>Roxas hummed a little, wrapping his arms around my neck before nuzzling his face into my shoulder. "You smell like a girl," he mumbled, still sounding half asleep. "You smell just like Kairi."<br>I grimaced. I don't smell like roses. I smell like man!  
>...Okay, so I might smell like roses...<br>-

A/N: Yeah, so this is Chapter 1 of Hollow. I originally intended this to be completely in Roxas's POV, but it morphed into Axel's somewhere along the line so it'll probably switch a lot.

Um, thanks for reading, review if you want, sorry about any grammar/spelling fails-I'm no English major.


	2. Nobody Can Hear Me

I used to be really social. Imagine that, me, a social butterfly. What a joke.  
>Sure, I would have conversations...with myself.<br>It got so bad my parents took me to therapy, and I was so scared of the guy I just stared at the mole on his chin the entire time.  
>Then when he finally got me to talk, it was a "no, stop!" and I told my parents I never wanted to go back there-but they didn't listen to me. Why did they never listen to me?<br>They were so shocked when he was arrested, but I'd been trying to tell them for years what he was doing, and no one ever listened.  
>No one ever listens to me.<p>

I told my parents we had to leave that night, but who would listen to me? I'm just some kid, what do I know? I'm just that weird blond crack baby who talks to himself and goes into panic attacks whenever my parents leave me with someone.  
>It's not my fault they wouldn't leave.<br>I ran away that night.  
>They should have listened to me. Maybe if they'd listened, life would still be good. Maybe if they listened, that storm wouldn't have taken them hostage and killed them because no one cared to pay the ransom.<br>But they didn't listen. No one ever listens to me.

"Roxas," a gentle voice said, softly shaking my shoulder. "Baby, wake up."  
>My eyes fluttered open, my surroundings swimming into recognition; the schools basement. My arms were wrapped around something warm-a body. I blinked, and looked at the red that hid my hands. Hair, spiked. "Who-"<br>"Roxas, do you remember what happened?"  
>"I told them not to stay there."<br>"Uh, no, you fell asleep on me."  
>I blinked, jumping away from the person. Red hair, pale skin, cat-like green eyes, purple tattooed upside down tear drops. Someone who lost to the clutches of suicide. Who did he lose? "Ven..." I muttered under my breath.<br>"What'd you say, Roxy?"  
>"Ven," I said and looked away. "Ventus."<br>"Is he your brother?"  
>"Was."<br>"I'm sorry."  
>"Who did you lose?"<br>He smiled, a small, sad smile, but didn't answer as he stood and led me to my first hour class- looks like I slept through homeroom again. Oh well.  
>"Hey, hey, Axel my man! Wazzup, dude?"<br>"God you sound like Xigbar, Demyx. You better be careful, wouldn't want to make Zexy jealous. You know how deadly it is to cross him."  
>"No worries, Axel. I'm loyal as a dog!-err, well, not <em>your <em>dog, but still," the boy named Demyx said to the one named Axel.  
>Axel was-he was my boyfriend, the guy who'd been staring blankly at me for months since school started. Asked me out yesterday. Known to be loyal only to himself, a real smart ass and arguably the hottest guy in school.<br>Why did he like me?  
>Oh that's right, he doesn't know about me. He doesn't know about how dirty and impure I am, nor does he know about my insanity. Someone should really tell him about that kind of thing.<p>

It's true, I don't talk to myself much anymore. I don't talk much. Why bother? No one's ever there to listen anyways. I only talk to a few people, and that's only out of necessity-fixing Sora's issues, mostly.  
>I sank down into the seat I knew to be mine; it seemed to scream 'Roxas's desk' at the top of it's nonexistent desk lungs. The teacher, a girl with blue hair, dragged Axel out of the room by the ear and locked him out of the room.<br>I'm guessing she didn't much like him.  
>"Page 223," was all she said the entire hour. She didn't talk much. I wonder how she got through college like that, only ever saying a word or two.<p>

I never liked lunch. We were always cramped into this room and it was always loud and filled with people. I hated it. A lot.  
>Mostly because there were people like Seifer.<br>He was Hayner's boyfriend, or at least, that's what Hayner liked to tell himself; and he took it upon himself to "toughen up those weaker" than himself- also known as me.  
>Now, normally he'd just take me to the bathroom and slap me around, you know, normal stuff, never in public because I fight back and that's bad business if I sock him in the jaw in front of everyone. He can dish it out, but he can't take what he serves, as Hayner so elegantly put it.<br>Today was different. Today, he picked me up by the collar of my black and white checkered shirt and tossed me into a wall in front of everyone. As soon as I figured out what the fuck just happened, I charged at him with a loud growl and knocked him to the floor, punching him in the face multiple times.  
>By the time anyone realized what just happened and decided to stop it, my fists were raw and Seifer's face was a bloody, bruised, gory mess. At first I thought I might have killed him, but then he sat up, holding his face as Fuu and Rai-two of the new staff as they'd graduated already-led him away to go to the office and Leon, my math teacher, dragged me out of the cafeteria and to the office as well.<br>"Roxas, I'm rather disappointed in you. You had a wonderful record, and now this?"  
>"Just because this is the first time it's happened in public doesn't mean I haven't done it before."<br>"What are you implying? Are you bullying Seifer?"  
>"What the-! No! That jerks been beating me up in the bathroom since I moved here!"<br>The principal simply stared at me. "Right, right. Now then, about your punishment, I'm going to call your guardian and we'll talk."  
>"You're going to pull Namine out of class to deal with me? She already knows, she has the same lunch as me. Just tell me how long I'm suspended for and let me leave."<br>"Namine?"  
>"She's my legal guardian, she's eighteen and my half sister. It's all in my file."<br>The principal stared at me some more before dismissing it-he didn't believe me. No one ever believes anything I say, do they?  
>I laughed, capturing his attention. "You're right. Clearly, I just attacked Seifer for no apparent reason because I'm <em>clearly <em>a nutcase. And you know, my parents obviously didn't die when they refused to leave the islands during a hurricane, because I'm such a twisted person that I lie about my family. I mean, it's so obvious that everything I say is simply just a lie, because that's all I can say."  
>The principal stared at me, and pressed the intercom button. "Namine Almasy to the office, please, Namine Almasy to the office."<p>

I groaned. Namine was pissed because she'd been making out with Kairi in the girl's bathroom, and I ruined that time. She wouldn't talk to me, just kept giving me those looks. You know the look. The "you ruined my moment you ass" look.  
>Namine was too nice to say something like that, though. She would send me dirty looks, and then she'd forget about it as soon as she left the house.<br>"Roxas," she called as I got out of the car.  
>"Yeah?"<br>"Please don't be mad at Axel."  
>"Why would I be mad at him?"<br>"Well, he said you weren't talking to him after you woke up before first hour, so he assumed-"  
>"I'm not mad at him."<br>Namine nodded, and I shut the door, waving to her as she drove off.  
>Then I turned to look at my door and realized I didn't have my key.<br>Fuck. My. Life.

A foot prodded my side. "Hey, kid, you okay?"  
>I opened one eye and looked at my attacker. "What do you want?" I could only make out a vague shape.<br>"Show me a good time, and I'll pay you."  
>"Fuck off."<br>"I'm kidding. It's Riku. Sora wanted to know if you were going inside or not."  
>"What the fuck, he's home?"<br>"We got here over two hours ago, Roxas. It's almost five."  
>"And you guys just left me out here, laying in the bushes?"<br>"Well, yeah... Sora thought you were trying to get a tan."  
>"And you just went along with that?"<br>Riku smirked. "I just wanted to see you in pain, personally."  
>"Why would I be-ah fuck!" I scowled at him and pain shot through my face.<br>"You're redder than a lobster, Roxas."  
>"Fuck you, Riku. Fuck you up the ass with a goddamned Semi-truck."<br>Riku grinned, and walked back into the building. I groaned as I got up off the ground next to the row of bushes. I had thought that maybe they'd shade me from the sun, but apparently not.

Half of my face was burned.  
>The other half? Perfectly fine.<br>Damn bushes.

A/N: Why is this in Roxas's POV when I said it'd be in Axel's from now on?

Because I am a liar.


	3. No Choice

A/N: If all goes according to plan, this story will be 13 chapters long. But I can't count well, so yeah.

Chapter 3: Roxas POV

I was suspended for two weeks for beating in Seifer's face. They decided not to sue, since I didn't actually break his nose or anything, and Namine was a common sister- yeah, that's right. Namine Almasy, not Amory. Our dad was a player, I guess. We have different mothers, but the same dad. See, my dad was married to Seifer's mom and met my mom shortly afterward and they did that nasty stuff and ended up with me and my twin brother Ventus.

So you may be wondering why I told Axel I lived with my cousin and half brother, when it's really Sora and my half-sister Namine. Well, that's where everything gets messed up. You see, Sora's not my half brother, but we look a lot alike, so it's rather believable. He's more like a brother figure to me than a cousin figure.

I call Namine my cousin because she's Seifer's sister, and grew up with Seifer, not me. She lives in the apartment with me, yes, but that's because she got kicked out for being a lesbian. Which is actually kind of weird, since Seifer came out as bisexual and his parents didn't care- I guess they just didn't like Namine or something. Maybe it has to do with the fact that she's a girl, and doesn't really matter anyways. Seifer's family is pretty sexist that way, his mom practically spends the entire day in the kitchen, no joke.

I sighed, looking out the window. Today is Saturday, and I'm supposed to be going on a date with Axel later today. Apparently he knows where I live, and I'm not sure how, or why he knows, but he does, because he brought me my homework that I missed yesterday- I suspect Sora told him too, though. Speaking of Sora...

"Oh, Riku, faster!"

I rolled my eyes. He was obviously faking. I could tell when Sora was actually getting fucked, because he flat out _screamed _Riku's name. This, however, was a false alarm-Sora was simply moaning it loudly.

"Oh, Sora, shut the fuck up!" I moaned as I walked past him laying on the couch next to a rather flustered looking Riku- Riku _hated _when we played this game, because he always got turned on by the sound of moaning. And french maid costumes, but I don't want to remember that.

I pour myself a bowl of cheerios-ew, why am I eating these?-and sat down at the table with my dry cereal and a fork.

"Roxas, are you feeling all right?"

I glanced up at Namine-wow, she was actually here for once? Where was I?-as she sat down next to me.

"Yeah, why?" I said, lifting my forkful of deliciously bland cheerios to my mouth before she took it from me, dumped the cheerios back into the bowl, shoved a spoon in my hand, and dumped milk onto my cereal.

"I know you, Roxas, and you only use forks on dry Cheerios when you feel unappreciated. Now who's been treating you like crap?"

I blinked a couple times, shook my head, and rubbed my eyes. "Wh-what? No one! You're looking too deep into my eating habits again, Namine. It's not healthy for either of us."

Namine smiled softly, and her eyes showed something weird-sadness? Pity? No, I think it's sadness.

"If you're reading so deep into my actions, you're trying to avoid yours. What's wrong, did you and Kairi fight?"

Namine shook her head, still smiling that sad smile. I wish she'd stop it, her and everyone else lately. Why is everyone giving me that same smile? Am I really that pitiful?

I feel like a child who asks something and an adult decides it's beyond my cognition.

I'm not a child.

"Eat your cheerios, Roxas."

I glare at her and shove a heaping spoon full into my mouth, staring hard at her as I chewed and swallowed before repeating, never once breaking my stare, even as she got up and poured herself some orange juice.

"Okay, fine, I'll tell you!" She said, sighing. "I was planning on popping the question to Kairi this weekend, I had matching rings chosen and everything."

My eyes widened. Had Kairi been cheating on her?

Namine chuckled sadly. "I just can't believe it, Roxas. I caught her making out with Selphy. Selphy! Of all people in the world, she cheats on me with that bitch!"

"Uh, are you sure they were kissing?" Riku asked, taking a seat across from me. Oh yeah, he'd thought Sora had been kissing some boy, but he was actually fixing his tie.

Namine nodded. "I saw them from the side, and Selphy was grabbing her all over and it was just so bad!"

Riku frowned. "I've known Kairi a long time, and this doesn't seem like her at all. Want me to talk to her?"

Namine shook her head. "She doesn't know I saw."

"I could make Sora do it. You know how close they are."

Namine shook her head again, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "Thank you, Riku, but I think this is something I should handle myself," she said as she slowly opened her eyes-she was holding back tears, I realised.

Riku nodded. "Well, if you ever need anything, I'm always here-seriously, always."

"Get a job, Riku."

Riku stuck his tongue out at me as I said it, and I stuffed more cheerios into my mouth and smiled. It was something Sora always did, and I guess it rubbed off on me, because I started doing it too. Riku glared at me, and stalked back to the living room, throwing himself over the couch to land with his arm around Sora.

I checked the time on the microwave and sighed, placing my empty bowl in the sink and going back to my room to grab clothes before I took a quick shower.

"What're we doing today?"

"I don't know, you asked me out, Axel."

Axel sighed. "I don't know what people do on dates, I don't date."

I felt my eyebrows pinch together in frustration. "Then let's go to the movies, since apparently you're incompetent as a boyfriend."

"Sorry, more used to the whole fuck a friend scene."

I shrugged. "I'm more used to the third wheel scene." Sora and Namine both enjoyed dragging me around when they first got into relationships, on occasion trying to hook me up with someone they knew.

Axel slipped his hand into mine as we stood at the bus stop together. "Hey," he said, just above a whisper, voice husky. "What's wrong today?"

I shook my head. "Nothing."

He let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder as he leaned against the bus stop hut thing. I leaned back into him, breathing in his smell. He still smelled like Kairi, the same rose-like scent, but his was mixed with something else. Smoke.

"I didn't know you smoked, Axel," I said quietly.

"I don't," he said, nuzzling into my neck with his face. "Kairi does when she's upset, and this is her shirt."

"Why are you wearing Kairi's upset shirt?"

"Selphy forced herself on Kairi the other day in an attempt to create some sort of drama," he said, quietly. "Kairi's worried that Namine will find out and when Kairi's upset, she comes to me and smokes in my room and sleeps in my bed and leaves in my clothes."

"So why are you wearing hers?"

"Out of clothes."

"Oh," I said, dismissively. "Namine saw."

"Saw what?"

"Kairi and Selphy playing tonsil hockey, as Hayner would say."

"Ew, Hayner?"

I jabbed Axel with my elbow gently. "Hayner's my best friend. Lay off."

"Sorry, sorry."

The bus came then, and we went to the Park instead of the theater because there weren't any movies that interested either of us. He bought me a sea-salt ice cream, and we went to the clock tower and watched people wander around in front of the station. After that, we went back to my apartment which was shockingly empty, and made out on my bed before Riku walked in on us, stared blankly, and left yelling something to Sora.

Sora, being the asshole he is, barged into the room and threw condoms and lube at us before running away.

Axel sighed and said he'd text me later, because he didn't want to end up having anyone else walking in on us making out. I nodded and kissed him goodbye, and then he was gone.

I don't really remember anything else from that weekend, so I guess I just slept.

Someone was hovering over me, watching me sleep. I opened my eyes and sat up, but no one was there. I looked around, but the clock read nine and I didn't know when it had actually happened, maybe Sora or Namine had said goodbye before they left. I shrugged it off and went into the kitchen.

Riku was at the table reading the newspaper, and promptly choked on his coffee when he glanced up at me.

I looked down. Oh, I was wearing unicorn boxers. Okay, that makes sense. For a second there, I thought I'd woken up in Namine's clothes again-it happens sometimes, don't judge me.

"You got a problem with that, Riku?" I asked, pulling an apple out of the fridge. Ever since Sora watched a documentary about flies, he'd insisted on keeping our fruit in the fridge so they wouldn't barf on it. I ran the apple under hot water so the cold wouldn't hurt when I bit into the crisp fruit.

"No, just admiring the view."

I grimaced. "You better be talking about the unicorns, or I'll beat your face in."

Riku blinked. "Of course I'm talking about the unicorns, Roxas."

"Good, I hear Sora likes your face intact."

Riku shook his head dismissively, annoyed by the topic.

Okay, so don't get me wrong. Riku's an attractive guy. I just don't think it's right when my cousin who's like my brother's fiance hits on me.

Which since I've been alone with him for two days, has started happening extremely often. And it's not just the occasional "oh baby," that you'd expect from Riku. No, no. This is winking, touching, ass-smacking, flat out _flirting._ I don't appreciate it, not in the least-but what am I supposed to do? Tell him to stop? He'd just say it was accidental. Tell Sora? He'd just get mad at me.

So I guess I'll just shut up and take it and hope he stops.

Clearly, my plan didn't work so well, as I found myself in my bed with Riku above me, his mouth on mine, tongue penetrating the depths of my mouth. I never thought I'd be the person he'd cheat on Sora with, I honestly thought it'd be Kairi or Axel.

I guess when you're in close quarters with someone who looks so similar to your lover, and know you won't get caught, it makes sense to have thoughts. To also have said lover tell you no for over a month and then be alone with his look-alike, would be grand motivation to be doing this.

Just because I can understand why, doesn't mean I approve. I've been trying to push Riku off of me for the past five minutes, but he just grabs my hands when I do.

I don't have a choice.

I never have a choice, do I?

I finally manage to shove him away and turn my face away from him before he retaliates after about ten minutes of him ravishing me. "Why are you doing this?"

Riku shrugs as he kisses a trail down my throat, along my jaw, and bites on my earlobe.

"Why are you always here? Don't you have a home of your own?"

"Used to. Got kicked out."

"So you're going to risk breaking Sora's heart and getting kicked out of our home by molesting his cousin?"

Riku hesitated before looking me dead in the eyes. "And how will he know? It's not like you'd tell him, and even if you did, he'd kick you out, not me."

"You know, I always knew that bros before hos law was bullshit, but I never thought I'd be in a situation where the ho came before the bro."

"It sucks, doesn't it? Having someone else put before you?" Riku said, as he bit down on my neck.

"It sucks more when you're not at all attracted to the ho," I said, boredly as Riku continued to kiss and bite and lick my throat. "And the ho had best be sure not to leave any marks, or he'll get his ass kicked by the bro's boyfriend."

"Axel wouldn't touch me over a whelp like you."

I smirked. "No, I guess he probably wouldn't, would he? So I guess I should just let you have your way with me, huh?"

"God yes," Riku said, voice just above a whisper.

I narrowed my eyes and smiled, despite the voice in my head that screamed for me to stop and kick Riku in the balls for even thinking about cheating on Sora. I brought his lips to mine with one hand, and let the other explore down his back lightly as I nibbled on his lip gently-I'd gotten very experienced from the make-out sessions with Axel,-as Riku started playing with the collar of my flannel shirt, unbuttoning it slowly.

"I can't take it anymore, I'm sorry, Riku, but seriously, get to know your left hand," I growled as I felt the familiar tug at my pajama pants. Over the span of two days, I'd already been fucked five times, and frankly, I wasn't in the mood right now. I'd taken to staying in my room all day, hoping Riku wouldn't bother me if he thought I was asleep, but no, Riku didn't give a shit if I was trying to sleep.

In fact, that was what I had been doing before he'd slipped into my bed and tried to awaken me by eating my face.

Riku sighed, and stopped tugging at my pants, but stayed next to me in the bed. "I'm sorry, Roxas. I know you probably hate me for using you."

"I hate you because a) you disturb my sleep, b) you're cheating on someone I love dearly, and c) I have a boyfriend."

Riku sighed. "I'm sorry, Roxas."

"Were you really sorry, would you be here, in my bed, keeping me from my sleep? Would you have even decided to make a move on me in the first place, if you knew you'd regret it? No. You're not sorry. Get the fuck out of my bed." Asshole.

"Roxas, will you shut the fuck up and listen to me?"

"No, get the fuck out of my bed and let me sleep, you asshole."

Riku sighed. "I just wanted to thank you for letting me, even though you don't approve."

"You said it yourself, Sora would kick me out before he kicked you out."

"...yeah," he said, quietly. "Get some rest, Roxas."

"Roxas! Roxas, wake up, oh my god-" the frantic squealing was broken off by a loud sob.

I groaned and looked up into the frantic face of Sora. "What do you want, Sora?"

"R-riku's-"

"What, Sora? An ass?"

"He passed out, Roxas, I don't know what to do he passed out and he won't wake up!"

I groaned and rolled out of bed. "Where is he?"

"The k-kitchen," he said, wiping tears away.

Sure enough, Riku was laying on the floor, broken glass in hand, out cold. Blood flowed out of the cuts on his hand from the glass, as well as on his face. I narrowed my eyes, and stood over him, one foot on either side of his ribcage and stared at his face.

I looked at Sora and shook my head, and Sora's face turned to a look of horror. I smirked and slapped Riku's face back and forth with both hands.

Riku winced, but I continued smacking him anyways, because I was _pissed_ at him for all the shit he's pulled lately.

I guess I kind of deserved it when he backhanded me so hard I lost my balance and slammed into the cupboards with my face.

Sora let out a sigh of relief and did a weird Sora-happy-dance before bending down and kissing Riku's lips. I stood up and went back to my room. I just hope the rest of this suspension is over soon.

A/N: And that's chapter three. O.o

Riku turned into a major jerk face, as much as I love Riku and everything, it just kinda happened that way. Ah well. Next chapter is Axel's POV, 'cause we haven't really heard much from that guy in a while. ."


	4. Kicked Out

A/N: I need to learn to double space. Erg.

Chapter 4: Axel's POV

School was kind of boring. Not that it normally was, but Roxas's face is pretty damned entertaining. And where was Roxas's face?

At his apartment, not answering my texts, because he beat up Seifer.

Goddammit.

Everyday after school, I walk around the school fifteen times before someone remembers to pick me up. Why don't I just walk? Well, that's easy. It's boring and hot out and I don't want to deal with bad drivers who can't tell the light is red.

Getting hit by cars is not enjoyable, kids.

"Hey mom? Can we... talk?"

She set her book aside, looking at me. "Sure, Axel. What is it?"

I fidgeted. I never liked to talk about things like this with her; even asking for money for lunch made me nervous. I don't really know why, but it does. I guess I'm just weird. "Um, well, you know how I was, um, 'teasing' Roxas the other day?"

"Roxas is that blond kid with the spiky hair, right?"

I nodded. "Um, I wasn't just teasing him..."

"What are you talking about, Axel?" She said, tiredly pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Mom, I'm...I like cock!" I shouted, and then slapped my hands over my mouth before running out of the room at top speed, tripping down the stairs, and shutting myself in my room.

"Axel?"

I opened the door slightly.

"Get the fuck out of my house."

"Okay," I said meekly, nodding as I grabbed my backpack for school and opened the door.

As I closed the door behind me, I heard glass shatter against the door. I had a feeling she wasn't going to accept me back anytime soon.

I knocked on the door of the small white house and waited, hearing some pounding noises and a bitter looking Larxene opened the door. Her expression turned into a smirk.

"What's wrong, boy-toy not ready for that yet?"

"I just got kicked out by my mom, actually."

He expression softened tenfold. That's the thing about Larxene-she's a real bitch, but if you're in deep shit with no where to go, she's your girl. Even though I cheated on her during the month long relationship we had, she was still my closest and dearest buddy. We had stopped dating, but it was no secret that we'd never stopped doing it until I asked out Roxas last Thursday.

Which explains her initial reaction to the whole thing with me and Roxas-ew. She didn't want to go back to being alone, didn't like the thought of me being off bounds. It limited her options and made me more distant.

"You wanna stay here?" I nodded and she smirked, grabbing my collar and pulling me down to her, crushing her soft lips to mine. I quickly responded, threading my fingers through her blond hair-the same color as Roxas's hair-and we walked back into the house. I kicked the door closed behind me as we fought for dominance. I pushed her down on her bed and crawled over her, as she removed my shirt quickly as I unbuttoned hers, my mouth never once leaving hers.

I felt a small twinge of guilt as I woke up the next morning to Larxene's alarm clock, with her face buried in my chest. I had just cheated on Roxas, but something told me that he honestly wouldn't be too hurt by that- from what I could tell, he wasn't really the most caring person in the world. I sighed and hit the snooze, letting myself sleep in the extra five minutes with Larxene's body keeping away the cold that threatened to seize me.

"Axel, sweetie, wake up," a voice cooed in my ear.

I groaned. "Do I have to?"

"Yeah, get your ass out of my bed and take a shower before I kick your ass out of my house in your boxers, Axel."

"Fine, fine. Be that way," I said as I rolled out of her bed, grabbing a pair of her jeans as I went- I don't know how, but I can wear her pants perfectly fine, but mine are way too long for her-and walking down the hall. I raised a hand in greetings to Larxene's dad, who returned the gesture.

Larxene's dad was a living, breathing example of the expression "idgaf," or (I don't give a fuck for those who don't speak text talk). Larxene had always closed the door when I came over. He didn't even so much as bat an eyelash when I started staying over, didn't even care when Larxene asked to get birth control. He didn't care that Larxene was bisexual, nor that she partied.

I'd been cool with him since day one, because he had respect for a man with long hair. Or something like that, I can't exactly remember. It had something to do with my hair- he was bald.

School was a drag, like usual. Demyx gave me a worried glance when he saw me get out of Larxene's car, but I quickly explained that I'd been kicked out, so he dropped it. No one bothered me when I left with her, either. I guess no one really cares, do they?

A/N: The next one will also be from Axel's point of view, if all goes according to plan. Yay, I double spaced! XD


	5. Thinking Tub

A/N: This is probably going to go from third to first person randomly. You've been warned.

* * *

><p><p>

I don't know when it started, and I don't know that it'll ever end. But that's life, isn't it? You never remember your beginnings and then it comes to an end suddenly. It's not really a big deal, is it?

But what is a life? A life is a soul inside a body, something that's so hard to bring into the world, but so easy to take away. It's boring at times and fun at others; sometimes life hurts and you wish you'd just die already but when you're so close to death all you can think is "dear god, what was I thinking?"

Well, if you haven't guessed already, I'm sitting in Larxene's bathtub with a shard of glass and a lighter, cutting and burning my flesh. I can't really feel it anymore, but I can't stop. The way the blood starts to flow out and the way the skin turns such a bright red when it meets with the flame is so relaxing.

My life doesn't suck.

I know it doesn't. I'm not abused, I have friends, I'm highly attractive, I get laid regularly, my body functions well, and I'm not dirt poor. My life is great.

So why am I so goddamned depressed?

I started burning myself when I was ten. I was so fascinated by how the skin changed when it hit the oven rack accidentally. Then I found a lighter, and I discovered how beautiful the fire was, and how it relieved all my stress that he caused me.

He was my best friend. My closest and best friend. The only one I ever had. I can't really remember much from back then, but I remember that I loved him. A lot. He said he loved me too-but then he also said he hated me sometimes, too. We weren't close, but at the time, we were all we had. His parents adopted him when he was three- they were a well off family and lived not too far from me.

I still don't know why he did most of the things he did. Everything would be great, and we'd be laughing and joking around, and the next he was like an angry bear. I never understood it, but I knew not to question it.

And then one day, he just...disappeared. My mom said he and his family moved to another place. Funny thing is, his parents still wandered the town, and we saw them in the mall a year later. I asked them about him, but they just shook their heads and walked away, his father putting an arm around his mother.

I figured out not long after that he shot himself while drunk one night. No note, no nothing. Just up and did it, right in front of his mother.

It hurt to find out that he had been so depressed that he'd resorted to drinking himself silly. I had always been there- I would have listened. But I guess I can understand why he didn't ask for help. It's hard to open up to people, to ask for and accept their help and their love. If it wasn't so damn hard, I wouldn't be where I am today.

I sighed, standing up and washing my abused arms of the beautiful red that stained them. Larxene had gone to a party and her dad was watching TV in the living room- I hadn't even bothered to close the door, just sat in the bathtub and drew the curtains. He wouldn't bother me anyways.

After sanitizing my wounds, I went out and sat next to him on the couch. He was watching the news with a blank face. He did that a lot, I don't think he actually paid attention to the words, just needed to do something.

"Axel... do you love Larxene?"

I blinked. That was uncharacteristic of him. He rarely spoke, let alone asked questions about my relationship with Larxene. "Uh, she's my closest friend..."

He nodded. "So you...don't?"

"I love the girl to death, but no, I'm not _in _love with her."

"I see," he said, nodding. "I worry about her, sometimes. She brings so many people home, but I can tell none of them really care about her that way," he scratched his neck awkwardly. "I fear I'm a bad father, but hell, I don't know what to do."

I laughed at that. "You're anything but a bad father to her," I said, shaking my head. "She loves you, because you're not strict. You don't get mad at her because of who she likes, and you're one of the few parents I've met that is chill with their kid liking girls and boys- hell, I got kicked out for it."

"Your mom is a bitch," he said, getting up. "Always has been. She's just mad 'cause her teeth are jacked up."

"Never heard that one before," I said, chuckling as I followed him into the kitchen.

"You smell like burnt flesh. You light someone on fire today?"

I froze. "Uh, what?"

"Hate to break it to you, but I can smell burnt flesh and blood- and you reek of it. Roll up your sleeves."

Shit.

Larxene's dad wasn't being normal today- then again, usually I was never around when Larxene wasn't. Maybe he was just like that, and didn't show it. Though Larxene never really got hurt, so maybe he was just... making sure I was okay.

He was standing in front of the door, waiting for me to obey. I could make a run for it out the back door, risk spraining my ankle because their porch was broken, and run to someone else's house.

So that's what I did.

Well, I tried to, but it turns out Larxene got her speed from her dad, because he was quickly tackling me to the ground just before I got to the pavement- I'd even jumped the fence.

"Dad? What are you doing to Axel?" Said the unmistakable voice of none other than Larxene, with a slight tone of laughter. Damned bitch.

"Roll up his sleeves, Larx. Don't ask questions, do it!"

Larxene laughed, and I pictured her rolling her eyes. "Dad, I've seen the guy naked. I know what he does. Don't worry about it."

"Larx, this isn't a laughing matter," he said, more growled.

"Axel doesn't do it to kill himself, and he knows that we all love him like our little dumb ass brother. The guy's a masochist."

"Bitch," I muttered at her, scowling at her shoes. "That was a secret..."

Larxene scoffed and walked away, leaving me to die under the weight of her father in the patchy grass. I squirmed, but to no avail- I wasn't exactly... strong. At least, not enough to get out from under a two hundred-something man holding me to the ground.

_"Axel," he said, voice cool._

_ "Yeah, Siax?"_

_ "Why don't we make a code?"_

_ "Why would we do that? That's stupid."_

_ "You're stupid, Axel. We don't want people to figure out our plans, do we?"_

_ Axel bit his lip. "No, I guess not, but why don't we just... make sure no one else is around?"_

_ Siax groaned. "Because, __**Axel, **__what if they're hidden?"_

_ "I guess that's true, but... that seems like a lot of work, Siax."_

_ "Yeah, whatever. C'mon. I'll be Isa, and you'll be Lea, so if anyone over hears us, they'll think we're talking to an imaginary friend."_

_ "I don't know about this..." Axel said, shaking his head. "Aren't we a bit old for imaginary friends? They'd probably think we were crazy or something..."_

_ "Lea..." he said, looking at the red head, a serious look in his eyes. "You __**are**__ crazy."_

_ "Wh-what? I am not!"_

_ Siax laughed, a chilling, cruel laugh. "Don't deny it, we all know it's true. No one with hair like that could be not crazy."_

_ "Th- My hair isn't my fault!" Axel said, face flushed. He hated his shoulder length crimson hair. It was always just everywhere. Always. There was no taming the stupid stuff._

_ "I'm just messing with you," said the calm boy next to him with a small smirk. Siax never was one to express his feelings. "C'mon, lets go home, Lea."_

_ Axel frowned at his new nickname. "What's the point in using them for codes if you use them in conversation for everyone to hear, Siax?"_

_ Siax glowered at him. "Don't be stupid," he said, shoving the other boy into a rose bush. _

Axel shook his head as he jerked awake. He'd been let go of and went to Demyx's house, using the spare key since he wasn't sure Demyx would have even been home.

Demyx had been home, and was peacefully curled around a sleeping Zexion, also deep in sleep. Axel shrugged and climbed into the bed with the two, curling up around Demyx and quickly falling into the clutches of sleep. Judging from how Zexion still had his book in his hand and they were both fully clothed, Demyx had fallen asleep on Zexion (literally) and his sleeping lulled the slate-haired boy to sleep as well.

"Woah, woah, woah. Since when did we have threesomes, Zexy?" Came a shocked Demyx's voice a few minutes later.

"What the hell are you going on about?"

"Well, we seem to have a third person in our bed."

"Who is it?"

Demyx sighed. "I don't know, I didn't look!"

"Why the fuck wouldn't you look? Demyx, you truly are an idiot."

"Well I don't see you looking either, Zexy."

"That's because I'm not the one who noticed the extra occupant. Now turn over and look!"

"Fine, fine-Oh, what the heck!" Demyx groaned upon turning over. "Zexy, who do we know with green eyes?"

"Demyx, I'm not in the mood for guessing games right now," came the annoyed response.

"No, really!"

"It's Axel. A.X.E.L. Got it memorized, yah dummy?"

"Oh! Hey Zexy, it's just Axel."

"I can hear, you know. Now that we've got that cleared up, why is he in our bed? Actually? I don't really think I want to know. I'm going back to sleep."

Demyx sighed, and shoved Axel off him and out of the bed onto the floor, with a groggy groan from Axel as he hit the floor. "Go sleep with Xiggy, he likes to cuddle, too."

Axel cringed. "No, Demyx, Xiggy does _not_ like to cuddle," he said, shaking his head. Demyx's room mate, Xigbar, was an older graduate of their school. He and Demyx were fairly close, and Demyx had affectionately named him Xiggy. Axel, however, found the man rather creepy- probably because he'd had his share of groping from the older man. Not a pleasant experience.

_Roxas..._ The name flooded his mind suddenly. He hadn't heard from his boyfriend in a while-since their date that kind of sucked because Roxas never talked to him much. Axel sighed. The least he could do was borrow some clothes from Xigbar-they were about the same size, after all. Wouldn't want to show up to Roxas's place wearing girls clothes-actually, skip Xigbar, he was damned sexy in girls clothes.

… pretend that last part never happened.

"_xas... Roxas..."_

"Get the fuck away from me, Riku."

"Riku?"

Roxas opened his eyes. "Sorry, Sora. Usually Riku decides to disturb my sleep."

Sora blinked. "Move over, Roxas."

"Why?"

A crash of thunder sounded in the distance. Roxas shuddered, and let his cousin into his bed. Both him and Sora were severely afraid of thunderstorms, so they had a tradition of clinging to each other for dear life when one happened. It really pissed Riku off sometimes, when Sora would slip out of his arms and into Roxas's in the middle of the night.

Roxas nuzzled his face into Sora's chest, arms around the tanner boy's waist, Sora cradling Roxas's head. Soon enough the two boys were sleeping deeply.

"Hey, Riku, is Roxas home?" I asked a distraught looking Riku.

"Think so... doesn't really go anywhere."

"So...you gonna let me in, Riku?"

Riku stared at me for a minute. "It's storming, Axel."

"Yeah? I think I noticed," I said, gesturing to the fact that I was drenched.

"Roxas won't want to talk to you."

"Why?"

Riku's scowl deepened. "Him and Sora have some sort of incestuous storm thing going on. He's probably busy."

I stared for a second before laughing my head off. "So, what, everytime it storms, Sora fucks Roxas? That's hot, dude. Let's go watch."

Riku shook his head in dismay. "No, Axel, my fiance doesn't fuck his cousin. They just fall asleep in each other's arms."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, dude. Just let me in so I can bother them. You'll get your bitch and I'll get mine. Deal?"

Riku started to close the door.

"Riku, wait. C'mon. We're buddies, right? You can't leave a poor, defenseless boy like me out to sleep on the streets!"

"You? Defenseless?" Riku scoffed, but let me in. "Whatever. Just... don't disturb the kids, and I'll lend you some of my clothes."

I nodded. "Thanks, Riku."

Riku returned a minute or two later with a pair of sweat pants and an old T-shirt, shoving them into my hands and returning to the room he'd come from.

"I'd hate to see that guy hungover," I said, shaking my head as I changed in the bathroom. Riku was younger than me, but apparently he was like Zexion smart and got skipped up a couple grades as a kid, so he graduated last year instead of next year with Sora, the bastard.

Since Riku said not to disturb the kids and I assumed that meant Sora and Roxas, I decided to crash on their couch for the remainder of the night- it was probably about four in the morning now.

"Hey Riku, what's porcupine head doing on our couch?"

"Hell if I know."

"Who's on our couch?"

"Your Romeo, Juliet!" Sora said, giggling.

I resisted the urge to chuck one of the pillows at him, and smirked with satisfaction as Roxas hit him upside the head.

"Seriously, Axel, why are you here?"

"What, you're not happy to see me?"

Roxas glared at me.

Oo, not a morning person. Noted. "Well, if you simply must know, my mom kicked me out, Larxene's dad tackled me to the ground, Demyx kicked me out of his bed, and Kairi's house is just a bad, bad idea. So I figure, might as well bother my beloved boyfriend and his cousin's fiance!"

"What, you're not going to bother Sora?"

I grinned. "Of course not. Sora's my friend. I wouldn't harass my friend! I save harassment for people like you, Roxie!"

Roxas groaned, face palming. "Axel, can I talk to you?"

"Yeah, sure, Roxas." I said, letting my playful facade fall, and following him into his room. He looked more tired than I remembered, older, even. "Are you okay, Roxas?"

"I'm fine," he said, quietly, before glancing up at me with a small smile. "I just wanted you to myself!"

He didn't sound very confident in his response. I let my face fall into one of concern. "Don't lie to me, Roxy. You're not alright, are you?"

"I said I was fine."

"And you certainly are fine, but you're not alright."

Roxas glowered. "I'm just tired, okay?"

I studied him for a minute. "You sleep too much, Roxy," I said, resting my forehead against his. "I wish you'd just tell me, but you won't, will you?"

"I don't have anything to tell you. It's not like you'd want to listen if I did."

"Roxas," I said, wrapping my arms around him, my forehead still resting on his. "I will listen to you. Don't leave me in the dark about shit, though."

"No one ever listens to me."

"No one ever tells me anything."

"I hate Riku."

I felt my eyebrows raise in confusion. _Why would he hate Riku? They're friends, aren't they? _

A/N: Yeah so this was kind of a shitty chapter, huh? Sorry it was late... I went to a friend's house and did derpy things.

…I have friends? What? Crazy shizz, dude.

Anyways, I should have the next chapter up soon. So yeah, thanks for reading this... o.0


	6. Turtle Soup

"I hate Riku," I said, softly, to the boy with his head against mine, who said he'd listen, said no one ever tells him anything.

I could feel his confusion. His forehead shifted against mine.

"I'm going to leave them here," I said, still quiet. "I can't take it anymore."

"Roxas... what happened?"

"I can't take it anymore!" I screamed, bucking away from him, tears forming at the corners of my eyes. I could imagine Sora's shocked expression as cereal poured from his mouth into his bowl, and Riku, sighing and lifting Sora's jaw back up with that same 'oh Sora' expression he wore when Sora didn't get a joke.

I don't want to think of his sinister, disloyal, lying face.

Axel pulled me into his chest, cradling my head to it with one large hand. His touch was warm, and he smelled like detergent and cinnamon. He was warm like a heater, and I suddenly realized how fucking cold it was in this room as I cried into his chest.

"Roxas, talk to me, okay? I'm here, alright?"

I nodded and took a sharp, stuttering breath. "When I was really little, my parents sent me to a therapist 'cause I-hic-talked to myself. I tried to tell them I didn't want to be there, but they didn't listen, and he-," I sobbed suddenly, shocking myself. I had never broken down when I thought about the situation, why was I crying so much? Man up, Roxas!

"He touched you, didn't he?"

"W-what?" I asked, shocked.

"The therapist. He... raped you, didn't he?"

How did he know?

"I...knew someone who was raped by a child therapist...so I just kind of...figured...Sorry."

I shook my head. "I don't think I should talk about this. You don't need to know any of my problems."

"Roxas... I want you to be happy," he said quietly, holding me gently as he buried his face in my hair. I didn't have any product in it. Just extreme bed head. A voice in the back of my head wondered what I looked like with sex hair. I shoved that voice away.

"Axel," I said, quietly. "Where will you go next?"

"I dunno, Roxy. I'll figure something out, I'm sure."

"I don't think Riku wants you here."

"I don't think you want me here."

I laughed slightly, but it sounded like a sob. "I don't want Riku here. You, I can kick in the balls and shove in a closet. Riku...not so much."

"Sora?"

I nodded into his chest. When did we sit down on my bed? Weird.

Axel took a deep breath. I could hear it, and I could feel it. It was weird. I could hear his heart beat, steady and slow. My eyelids started to get heavy, and I wanted to listen to what Axel was saying, but I was just so tired and... "Roxas?"

I hummed a little in response.

"You're about to fall asleep, aren't you?"

I nodded and hummed in agreement. "I'm tired..."

Axel chuckled a little, a weird feeling. I pulled him down with me sideways, my arms wrapped around him and my face buried in his chest. One of his arms was strewn over my shoulders. I slipped my hands under his shirt, seeking warmth, and felt his back tense slightly at my cold hands. "Go ahead and sleep, little Roxy. I'll stay here with you," he said quietly.

I nodded, not bothering to argue with the little comment, and succumbed to the dark escape that tugged at my consciousness.

"_sleeps a lot lately..."_

_ "...hope he's alright..."_

_ "...is he sick?.." _

_**"...what did you do to him?"**_

The last one was angry sounding, and I felt the rumbling of it. Axel. Who was he talking to?

_"I didn't do shit. I don't know what's wrong with him."_

_ "You're around him the most, silly. We're not saying you caused this." _That was Sora, so the other whisperer was probably... Riku.

I felt myself cringe against Axel's chest, and sat up, despite Axel's hand on my shoulder. Sora smiled sweetly, Riku sent me a glare that told me if I said anything he'd strangle me, and Axel just held me to him.

"He's fine, Sora, Axel. He's just stressed because he's missing school, _right, _Roxas?"

I stared at him, wide eyed, and nodded. "Yeah, I'm getting behind... and I don't know what's waiting for me when I get back, so I'm kinda scared..."

Axel snorted in disbelief, staring at Riku, one eyebrow raised. Riku took a step back, and then recovered enough to shoot me a glare before nonchalantly coming and patting me on the head and leaving the room.

I cringed.

I don't want to think Sora saw me cringe, but I know he did. His expression seemed to drop into a confused frown, and I shook my head. "I didn't expect it," I said, quietly. Sora seemed to buy this, though, and- I don't really know how else to put it,- flounced out of the room after Riku.

"You want me to beat his ass?"

I froze.

He knew.

He knew, and Riku knew he knew, and now I'm going to be strangled in my sleep and Axel's going to be ripped limb from limb and made into turtle soup.

Wait, what? Turtle soup..? Whatever, not the point.

"Don't," I said, quietly. "Sora will side with Riku, and I'll get blamed. I don't want to hurt Sora."

"So you're just going to let Riku pull this shit?"

I nodded.

"Roxas..."

"Axel."

"Roxas, you can't just let people walk all over y-"

I cut him off, hopefully distracting him from the subject as I pressed my lips to his. He obliged, and soon had me under him, his tongue in my mouth as he reached up my shirt, making me moan quietly.

In his arms, I almost forgot what cold felt like.

I woke up alone in a place I didn't recognize, on a bed I didn't know, facing a gray wall. It took me a good while to realize that, _oh shit,_ today was Monday. I had school today... but I think being kicked out, not knowing where you are, and having none of your stuff is a legitimate excuse to skip school.

After what felt like a long time, I remembered what had happened before. I was in Roxas's bed... Roxas had been in it with me, and we...

_Shit, _I fucked Roxas. It shouldn't have been a big deal or anything, because hell, I've fucked Larxene a thousand times and I've fucked guys before, but it was Roxas... we'd only been dating for like a week! God, I fail at relationships... but he had wanted me to. He'd practically begged me to take him.

So I did.

But where was Roxas?

I sat up and looked around. He wasn't in the room. I picked my boxers up off the floor and put them on under the covers before sliding out of the bed and looking for the sweatpants Riku had lent me, only to find Larxene's jeans neatly folded on the chair next to Roxas's bed. I pulled them on and realized with dismay that my shirt wasn't there...and neither was the one Riku lent me. Awesome. Whatever... I'm sure Sora and Riku can deal with a shirtless Axel for five minutes...right?

Okay, so maybe going out of Roxas's room wearing only Larxene's jeans was a bad idea, because both Sora's and Riku's eyes zeroed in on the burns and cuts on my arms as soon as I walked into the room.

"H-hey, Riku, Sora... you know where Roxy wandered off to?"

"Roxy?" Riku asked, eyes still focused on my arms.

"Roxas...you know... about yay-high, messy blond hair-"

"Axel, what the fuck is wrong with your arms?"

"Nothing, don't worry about them."

"Axel?"

I turned around at the voice and made a girly squeal, grabbing Roxas up in a hug. "I found you! Roxy don't ever leave me again, I was so worried, and-oh god cold wet hair," I said, releasing him and wiping the water off my chest with a grimace. I hated cold water. I didn't mind it so much when it was warm-ish, but when it's icy cold like Roxas's hair water, no. Just flat out no.

"I took a shower," he said, blinking. "Is anyone else really hungry?"

I nodded-but then, I was hungry a good 8 out of 10 times. Riku and Sora eventually nodded slowly, though Riku was still staring at my arms, while Sora was staring at my chest-which I then realized was covered in bite marks and hickeys. Well, if they didn't know what me and Roxas had been up to before, now they probably knew.

"So, Axel... seriously dude, what's with your arms?"

Roxas looked over at them at Riku's mention, and then went back to eating his sandwich.

"You don't want to know, Riku, so don't ask."

"Wha-?" He started, but stopped and nodded at my pointed glare.

"Ax, why do you cut and burn yourself?" Sora asked, looking on the verge of tears.

"Oh, Sora, I don't! These are just drawings, silly." For some reason I felt like a 'I get bored' wasn't a good answer for Sora, and he seemed to buy the drawing excuse after I told him they were to raise awareness, much to Riku and Roxas's amusement.

"Hey... shouldn't you go to school, Axel?" Sora asked me, after waking me up from my fitful slumber on their couch.

"Nah, I think I'm just gonna skip...try to get Roxas out of the house, you know."

"Oh, okay. Well have fun, Axel!"

I nodded and went back to sleep, before I was interrupted by a loud thumping noise and shot up, seeing Riku flat on his face on the floor. I bit back my laughter and asked if he was okay, which he grunted to as he got up and walked to his room. I shrugged it off and wandered into Roxas's room, crashing into the bed next to the small blond boy.

"Get the fuck out of my room, Riku," was the growled response to my slamming onto his bed.

"I'm not Riku, do I get to stay?" Why would Riku be in his room?

Roxas looked up at me, bewildered, and then buried himself back under the blanket. I'll take that as a yes.

When I woke up, my face was buried in Roxas's chest, which is kind of awkward because that meant my feet hung off his twin bed, but I was comfortable, with his hands running through my hair gently. I hummed lightly and moved up to kiss him.

"Good morning, Axel. Thanks for not being Riku, I really don't like gray hair."

"Er, you're welcome?"

Roxas smiled a little. "It's almost noon, I hope you planned on skipping, Axel."

"Is it really? Wanna go get some ice cream or something?"

"I guess so... but you lack a shirt."

"Um, I could steal one from Riku, I guess...We should probably stop by my house and grab some of my clothes...Larxene might want her jeans back someday."

"Those are Larxene's?"

"Yeah, I know. I look better in them than she does."

"I wouldn't know."

I smirked and kissed him, before sitting up and crawling out of the bed. I picked him up, but he flailed around until I set him down again, clutching his chest. Guess he was afraid of heights or something.

"Hey...Axel?"

"Yes, Roxy?"

"Um... you know what Riku does to me, right?"

I stared blankly at him.

Roxas looked away, at his feet. "Never mind, forget I said anything."

"No, Roxas, you can tell me," I said, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Roxas shook his head, and led me into the living room, plucking out a white t-shirt from a laundry basket and tossing it at me. I put it on, and then we left.

"Roxas, talk to me," I said, quietly.

"Axel... you don't want to know."

I frowned. "What makes you think that? Of course I want to know. I can tell it's troubling you, and I don't like it when you're troubled."

Roxas sighed, and led me to the alley leading to the tower. "Axel, I don't know what to do, how to say it, but... Riku..."

"You love Sora, don't you?"

Roxas doubled back, a look of disgust on his face. "No, no! That's not even close! Well, I mean, I love him like a brother, but no, not like that!"

I sighed. "I was really, really, hoping Sora was my competition, Roxas."

Roxas shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Axel, Riku has fucked me every day since last Tuesday, excluding the last three days."

I bit my lip. "So... you're saying you like him better, aren't you?" I was prepared for him to reject my feelings when we'd first started out... hell, I still was constantly expecting him to dump me, but... having it actually happen... _hurt._ It shouldn't, but it _did._

"No...I can assure you I do not like Riku, in fact you could say I really hate the guy," he said, shaking his head. "It wasn't rape because I did it consensually, but I'm not attracted to Riku."

"So... then why are you breaking up with me?"

"I cheated on you, Axel... we _can't _be together," he said, blue eyes studying his shoes. "It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to anyone else who might want to be with you."

I laughed. "Roxas... I'm not mad at you because you cheated on me- honestly, I'm kinda hurt that you'd break up with me because of it when you don't like Riku."

Roxas shook his head. "No, Axel, I really think it's best if you aren't with someone like me."

I sighed. "I listened to you, Roxas, now you listen to me," I said, pressing a finger to his mouth when he opened it. "I don't give a fuck if you cheated on me, because to be completely and totally honest, it doesn't sound like you wanted to. And from the looks of it, you don't want to break up, do you? You aren't some scum just because you cheated, babe," I said, shaking my head. I tilted his head up. "You see this? This is me forgiving you for having low self-esteem."

"Axel... it's over. I'm sorry, but I can't... live with it, okay? So just...stop."

I felt a pang of sadness stab through my chest. "Are you... sure?"

Roxas nodded, and walked away.

Goddammit.

A/N: So, I'm going to try and get all this done by Friday, 'cause otherwise y'all are gonna have to wait until August for a new chapter... sorry. I didn't know I was leaving so soon for vacation, other wise I probably wouldn't have started uploading this.

Anyways, uh, thanks for reading.


	7. A Sad Excuse of a Chapter

I don't know why, but after I grabbed a bag of my clothes, I found myself at Larxene's house, sitting on her door step crying my eyes out. I don't even know why- I was with Roxas for a week and some odd days, and I barely even knew the kid. I shouldn't be crying like some teenaged girl. I should shrug it off like I did with my two month relationship with Demyx. It's no big deal.

It's not like I loved him.

Larxene got home at three forty five, and stared at me for a good five minutes with a dumbstruck look on her face before opening her door and dragging me into her room. She tossed me onto her bed, kicked her door closed, and flopped down next to me, running her electric blue and yellow manicured nails through my hair soothingly.

"Axie, baby, what's wrong?"

"I don't even fucking know."

"What happened?"

"Roxas broke up with me 'cause he was blackmailed into taking it up the ass from Riku," I said, sighing. "He said he couldn't live with having cheated on me, even if I didn't give a fuck."

"You were together a week. Maybe he just prefers the dweeb over you?"

"No, he said he hated Riku about a million times even before he dumped me... Larxene, I don't know what the fuck is up with all this teary shit."

"Well, maybe you're just not used to getting dumped for being cheated on... I mean really, usually you're dumped because _you_ cheated, Ax."

"Shit, I didn't tell him I cheated on him, did I?"

Larxene rolled onto her back and let out a loud fit of laughter. "What a dumb ass," she said, wiping tears from her eyes. "You, sir, are the biggest dumb ass I have ever known-aside from Demyx, of course."

"Demyx is a whole 'nother breed of dumb ass."

Larxene grinned. "How 'bout we go out and party?"

So that's how I ended up in some club, wasted on a monday night. Larxene called her dad to pick us up at around two in the morning, and I crashed next to her, too drunk to fuck.

The next morning I woke up with a killer hangover, and refused to move from Larxene's bed the entire day. Luckily, I wasn't one of those people who puked every five minutes when they were hungover.

Unfortunately, I am a depressed drunk, so I wasn't much fun for Larxene to hang around when we were clubbing. It also didn't make me feel any less pain when ever I thought about Roxas...which was pretty much every-time I looked at Larxene, because she's blond. It's kind of awkward when you break out in tears every time you see your friend, and in the end she ended up wearing a hat to keep me from bursting out in tears every five seconds.

On Wednesday, I went back to school. All day, Sora shot me nasty looks. Curious, I cornered him after school.

"So what the fuck did I do to upset you, princess?" I growled at the shorter boy.

"Because of you, Roxas was sobbing all night!"

"He broke up with me! I wasn't even fucking mad at him! I told him that... what the hell?"

Sora had started to tear up. "R-roxas left this morning, Axel..."

"Left... as in, ran away, or..?"

Sora shook his head. "He just started screaming and then attacked Riku this morning because Riku put his hand on Roxas's shoulder and then he just...ran away..."

"Sora..."

"Do you know where he is, Axel?"

"No... but if I see him, I'll tell him to get his ass back home, okay?"

"Thanks, Axel."

"Yeah, sure... tell Namine I said hi if yah see her."

Sora nodded, and waved his goodbyes with a smile.

I swear to god there is something wrong with that guy.

_Roxas... where are you?_

* * *

><p><p>

A/N: This one is short! I'm sorry, guys. I didn't have much to write about this chapter... xD


	8. Video Games

"Roxas..."

"What do you want, Riku?"

"Get rid of him."

"Who?"

"Axel."

"Why? He's no worse than you, you stupid freeloader."

"If he knew what you were doing, he'd think you were a whore and leave. So before you get hurt, get rid of him. Preemptive attack."

"Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"Get the fuck out of my room."

* * *

>Riku left, and I heard a loud thump before a door was slammed. Ha, the bastard must have tripped.<p><p>

"I told Axel what we were doing. He didn't give a shit. Hope you're happy, you ass."

"You got rid of him, though?"

"Unfortunately," I said, rubbing my bruised knuckles. I don't think they were broken, but I _did_ punch a brick wall, so... they kinda hurt like a bitch. "You're a bastard, Riku. I hope you know that. One day, Karma's gonna fucking rip your head off."

"Whatever you say, Roxy. We're in this together."

"Don't call me that!"

"Let me go, Roxas," he said, before I realized that I had grabbed his shirt collar.

I let him go, and went into my room, locking the door behind me.

"Oh my gosh, Roxas, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Sora."

"No you're not, Rox. You're crying! You _never_ cry. Like Riku. 'Cept that one time he cried during sex, that was scary. Roxas, don't start bawling during sex, okay?"

I cringed slightly at the mention of Riku, and wiped away the tears that kept falling from my eyes. I was just... really pissed off, I guess. Pissed because I told Axel all that shit, and he listened. Someone finally listened, and Riku made me get rid of him.

"Hey, Roxas, don't cry, kiddo. I'm sure he didn't mean it," Riku said, resting a hand on my shoulder.

I froze, all except my eye, which twitched at his touch.

And then I very well lost it.

I don't even know how I managed it, but before I could stop myself, I was screaming "Shut up," at this hysteric pitch as I flung myself at him, punching him with my not bruised left hand, which was, in fact, my dominant hand.

Riku's face was bloody and I think I broke his nose before I realized what I'd done, and I looked at Sora with wide eyes, but he was just staring in shock at the scene before him. Fun fact, Sora is extremely squeamish.

And with that, I ran like a crazy mofo out of the apartment and down the street.

I don't know where I'm supposed to go. Honestly, where does one go when they run away from their homes because their cousin's fiance blackmailed them into sex, and one beats their face in?

Well, I guess one would pay a visit to Hayner's mother.

Hayner's mother was a nice woman, with dirty blond hair and hazel green eyes. Not only that, but she was kind of really hot... for a thirty-five year old woman. She had Hayner when she was nineteen, a year after she got married-not to Hayner's dad, though. It's kind of weird to think that they didn't get divorced within a few months, but I guess they were just lucky or something.

I don't really understand how two people can stand being together for so long, but maybe that's because I haven't experienced love.

Anyways, Hayner's mom answered the door, and quickly enveloped me in a bone-crushing hug. She was very loving, and rather affectionate with everyone, which still struck me as weird since Hayner hated being touched, didn't like hugs, and didn't really like a lot of people.

Maybe he's adopted.

"Roxas, shouldn't you be at school, honey?"

I shook my head. "No, I, uh... kinda got in a fight with Seifer and I still have one more week of suspension."

"Oh... well Hayner's at school... but you're welcome to hang around, if you want!"

"Thanks," I said, and then paused. "Um, actually, can I talk to you?"

"Sure, honey. What is it?"

I fidgeted. "Well, uh, see... I guess I should start from the beginning, so..." I told her about Riku's blackmailing, and then told her the events of this morning. "So... I kinda was hoping you could put me up for a couple days until the whole thing kinda blows over..."

"Oh, of course, honey! You know I don't mind you guys sticking around a few days."

"Thanks," I said, grinning. "You're a life saver, Mrs. O."

"Oh don't mention it, Roxas. And you don't have to call me that. Rikku's fine."

I was going to thank her again, but she walked into the kitchen and told me to make myself at home.

So that's why when Hayner got home with Olette, I was sitting on the couch playing video games.

Olette was adopted into their family when she was twelve, when her parents abandoned her. She and Rikku got along great, because they were both so sweet all the time. I dated Olette for a month, but we both decided it wasn't right. We were best friends, after all, so it was just kind of awkward, all the time.

Shortly afterwords, Olette got together with Kairi, which lasted a year before Olette realized Kairi was madly in love with Namine, and so now Olette's been flying solo for a couple years.

Pence and Hayner sometimes say I turned her gay.

I somehow don't think that's how it works.

"Yo, Roxas, what you doin' here?"

Oh, Hayner... such beautiful grammar. "Beat Riku up, ran out before he could kill me."

"Aw, man. You're just beatin' everyone up lately, aren't you? Proud of you," he said, earning a smack upside the head from Olette and Rikku, and a stern glare from Paine, Rikku's wife.

I still don't know how Hayner came to be, but I guess it doesn't really matter, huh?

"Don't encourage him, Hayner," Paine said, voice flat but stern, before going back to eating.

Paine wasn't very emotional, and tended to be the one in charge-mostly because Rikku was such a little kid at times. Her short hair was kind of greyish, kind of blondish, and her skin was slightly tanned.

She kind of reminded me of someone Axel would hang out with, because she wore mostly black and red, with hints of silver here and there. Kind of... gothic. But not really. I don't know, these kinds of things aren't my forte.

I finished eating my chicken and put my plate in the sink at the same time as Olette, and told her she hits like a man, therefore earning yet another smack on the back of my head.

"Roxas, phone!" Hayner yelled from the kitchen.

I paused the racing game I was playing with Olette, and jumped over the back of the couch, running to take the phone from him.

"Roxas?"

"Yeah? Who is this?"

"This is Namine," she said, and I heard a scream in the background followed by a crash, Namine asked them if they were okay, and I heard a small 'yeah' in response. "Anyways, Sora told me you ran away, so I figured you were probably at Hayner's."

"You figured correctly," I said, quietly.

"Anyways, you should call Sora and tell him you're okay. He's really worried about you, you know."

"I... I dunno. I don't really wanna call and get screamed at... so if he asks, I wasn't here, alright?"

"Got it. Bye Roxas," she said, and then hung up after I said bye as well.

That night I crashed with Olette in her bed, because Hayner said it was weird when I slept in his bed. So, naturally, but the gay guy and the lesbian in a bed together.

Whatever, Hayner. We both know you're just hoping Seifer will sneak through your window and fuck you.

Sleeping next to Olette was surprisingly comfortable, but then, why wouldn't it be? She was my best friend, besides Hayner. But I still couldn't get over the feeling that it wasn't right-she wasn't warm enough, she was too small.

She wasn't Axel.

I had enjoyed sleeping next to Axel; he radiated heat in a way that no one else seemed to, he was the perfect size to cuddle around you, and he didn't protest when you buried your face in his chest.

Olette was slightly disturbed when I tried to do that. Wonder why. I apologized, and she nodded and rolled over so her back was facing me. I let my back rest against hers, because damn I was cold.

I'm always cold when I sleep. It's just like I stop producing heat or something. I dunno.

I woke up alone in Olette's bed sometime around noon-meaning I slept a good thirteen hours. I sleep too much. Oh well.

I wandered out of her room a few minutes later in a my shirt and boxers, figuring Rikku probably wouldn't care if I wandered around her house naked. I have some decency, though. And I wasn't too keen on showing off all the bruises that covered my chest from Axel-Riku never left a mark.

It wouldn't have really mattered anyways, since when I went into the kitchen, Rikku had left a note saying she had gone to a doctor's appointment and then would be going shopping, to be back around 4. So I had a few hours to myself, I guess. I decided on an orange for breakfast/lunch, and sat on the couch and played video games until Hayner and Olette got home and Hayner gave me the gift of pants.

After I was given pants, Hayner and Olette dragged me out of their home to go walk around aimlessly for an hour or two, in which we ran into Seifer and his posse and were forced to run away like the chicken-wusses we were.

Let's face it, three people with foam bats against three people without, one of which was a pacifist, is just not going to end well. So we ran away, metaphorical tails between our legs, screaming bloody murder all the way back to Hayner's house, where we fell against the door laughing our heads off to the point where we fell down laughing.

Paine got home from work soon after this laugh attack started, and stared at us for a good minute before shaking her head and stepping around us and into her house. This started a whole new bout of laughter.

When we finally got done laughing our heads off, Hayner invited Pence over and we had a huge video game competition over some pizza and Mountain Dew. Sometime around midnight, we all passed out on the floor, Hayner's head on my back, my head on Olette's chest, and Olette splayed all over Pence, the only straight guy in our group of friends.

Needless to say, it was kind of awkward when we all woke up-Olette panicking because my face was buried in her chest, waking up me and Pence. I shot up in embarrassment, knocking Hayner to the floor and apologizing to Olette like crazy. Pence had this weird dreamy look on his face, and it turns out he was still pretty much asleep, since he just went back to sleep.

They didn't have school today because of some professional development day or something, so we all just kinda lazed around on Rikku's couch and played video games all day, until Pence had to work.

After that we just watched TV and then passed out on the floor again, Hayner curled around me, me curled around Olette, Olette curled around a couch cushion. Then at six, Paine kicked all our feet and told Hayner and Olette to get up and go to school, and told me to go take a shower because I stunk.

We all did what we were told, and I was given some of Hayner's clothes to wear. They were really loose on me, but at least they were clean.

Fridays are boring.


	9. Roxas, Come Back To Me!

"Riku, are you okay?"

Riku grunted as he cleaned the blood off his face and set his nose in the mirror. I was sitting on the bathtub rim, after puking three times from all the blood. I'm...a little squeamish, I guess, when it comes to stuff like blood.

"Should we go to the hospital?"

"No," he said, and started to put the cap on the bottle of peroxide. "I've done this before."

I nodded. Riku had been abused as a child, after all. He probably did know how to take care of this kind of thing. But why did Roxas attack him like that?

Roxas and Riku were never by any means, best friends. They had always a weird rivalry thing going on, that I never really understood. They were both always so serious, and I never really thought they were friends, but they weren't enemies. They got along fine...right? I mean, they talked all the time, and sure, sometimes they argued, but it never got violent, and it never was anything more than an argument over something like what to have for dinner. They might not have been close, but they weren't about to beat each other to a pulp...so why?

"Sora...if you keep making that face, it's gonna get stuck, kiddo."

"Will not! And don't call me kiddo! I'm only a year younger!"

Riku smirked, and kissed me before walking out of the bathroom, a slight sway in his hips. We hadn't done it in a while, since I have to concentrate on school. But since there's no school tomorrow... I ran after him.

"Sora, get off," he said, though his eyes were telling me to do anything but. "You have school tomorrow."

"No, tomorrow's Thursday, and we don't have school."

"Today's Tuesday, Sora."

I blinked. "Oh. Oops."

Riku sighed, pushing me off him as he rolled over so his back was facing me. I sighed, and curled up into him, my fingers tangled in his shirt.

"RiRi, do you think he hates us?"

"He doesn't hate you, Sora."

"Why'd he attack you like that?"

"PMSing."

I grinned, but smacked Riku's shoulder. "Roxas is a boy, silly."

"I know," he said, chuckling.

"I miss him..."

"He'll come back, once he cools down."

"I hate to think he's out on the streets somewhere, though... I wish he'd just come back..."

Riku snorted. "He's probably sleeping on some poor lady's couch."

* * *

>I frowned. Why was he so carefree about this? Roxas was like my little brother.<p><p>

"Namine, have you seen Roxas?"

"No, Sora, I haven't. Why, is something wrong?"

"He...ran away..."

"Oh, Sora, I'm sure he's fine. He's smart."

"Yeah..."

"Don't cry, Sora! It'll be okay," Namine said, quietly, hand on my shoulder.

I couldn't help it. I just bust out crying, which made Kairi run over and hug me, making Namine awkwardly stand there because her ex was my best friend.

"You guys need to make up already, Kai. Roxas would want you too."

"Sora...he isn't dead."

* * *

>"I know..."<p><p>

"Roxas, man, you gotta call Sora, he's been freaking out all over the place!" Hayner said, placing the phone in my hand.

"I-don't think that's a good idea..."

Hayner sighed. "He was crying on Kairi's shoulder for a good hour."

"He does that on a daily basis, dude."

"Oh...he does, doesn't he?"

"I think you should call him though, just make sure he knows you're good."

"Give me your cell phone, I'll text him." Hayner obeyed, giving Roxas the small silver device. Roxas quickly typed in Sora's number and a small "_hey it's roxas im alright chill out"_before handing Hayner his phone back.

"Sora says to come home." Hayner said a few minutes later, reading off the text.

"Say no."

"Roxas!"

"I can't go back there."

"Roxas, you're being stupid. Clearly Sora's not mad at you, and honestly who gives a damn about Riku?"

Roxas looked down at his hands. "He'll ask why I beat Riku's face in, and I can't tell him that."

"Why not?"

Roxas got off the couch and left, nodding to Paine as she walked up the sidewalk.

_"hey, this is Hayner. Roxas just left, idk where he went"_

I groaned. So now Roxas was on the streets again... so I couldn't find him.

Riku looked over at me, eyes wide. "You okay?"

"Roxas is still gone."

"Yeah, noticed."

"Make him come back."

Riku frowned and sat next to me. "He wouldn't listen to me, even if I tried."

I nodded. "I miss him."

"Sorry I'm not good enough," Riku grumbled, standing up.

"Riku, c'mon, don't be that way! You know I love you, I just..."

"Love Roxas more?"

"Riku! He's family!"

Riku nodded, but still didn't come back, instead going into the kitchen to stir whatever concoction he'd created for dinner.

I miss Roxas's cooking.


	10. I can't hate you

A/N: Sorry 'bout the lack of Akuroku D:

I love Sora. Don't get me wrong, I love him with all my heart. I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

So why do I feel the need to cheat?

They say once a cheater, always a cheater.

Well, maybe it's something like that...but I think it's more like a "if it's there, take it," type thing. I don't know. I feel bad about what I've done... but I don't really know what to do- I can't take backt the things I've done and given the chance, I probably would redo it.

But the opportunity was there, so I took it. Roxas was suspended, and I was horny, so I used him. I didn't want to cheat on Sora... because I really _do_ love him, and I always will.

So, you can imagine that this entire ordeal is tearing me apart. Not only do I feel like shit for cheating on Sora, but now that Roxas's run away, Sora's flipping out right and left.

Note to self: Do not piss off the person who makes your food.

I suck at cooking, but Sora...well. Sora shouldn't be trusted with fire. Or microwaves. Or anything that has the potential to explode or catch on fire.

Actually, Sora should just stay the fuck away from the kitchen.

"Sora..."

Sora looked up at me, wiping tears away from his face and forcing a smile. "Yes, Riku?" He said, pulling me into a hug.

I didn't want to let him go. This was probably the last hug I'd ever get from Sora. "I...we need to talk."

Sora blanched at the words. "Y-you're...breaking up with me? Now?"

I shook my head. "Sora... the reason Roxas left..." I took a deep breath. "Sora, I blackmailed Roxas into having sex with me, and I made him break up with Axel, and I-"

Sora let out a small sob.

"I'm sorry, Sora." I reached to wipe away the tears that poured from his eyes, but my hand was slapped away.

Never once in my life have I seen Sora look so damned...hostile. "Riku... I loved you. I gave myself to you. I cried over you. I let you live in my home-and you _threw it away._ Don't touch me. I don't want you here anymore."

"Sor..."

"Riku, I'm sorry, but just shut up."

I bit my lip. "You...hate me...don't you?"

"I really, really, _really_ want to say that I do, Riku," he said, fists clenched. "But I can't. I want to say that I hate you, and I never want to see your ugly mug again, but I'd be lying if I said that, wouldn't I?"

"Sora, I-"

"I love you, Riku, and I always _will_ love you, but I can't deal with this," Sora continued, "I don't want to do this, but you messed with family, Riku, and I don't think I can forgive that."

"Sora... I-"

"Riku..." Sora turned and walked towards me, smiling sadly. "I love you," he said, pressing his lips to mine gently as he opened one of my hands and dropped something in it, closing my fingers around it.

I looked at my hand. The small ring sat in my hand. The symbol of a promise made between two people to stay together, to get married, the ring I gave him, now sat in my hand. I bit back the tears that threatened to pour over, and looked up at Sora.

"You should give that to someone you really love, Riku," Sora said, smiling sadly. "I'm sorry I'm not that person."

"Sora, no!"

"Riku... I'm sorry, but can you... leave? I don't think I want you around right now..."

I nodded, standing up. "I...I love you, Sora."

"Get out, please," was the response I got-and probably the one I deserved. I walked out of the apartment, closing the door quietly behind me.

I don't know how I got here, but I know where here is.

Here is my parents' old house, the one where I spent 10 out of 13 years that I lived there being beaten until bruised and bleeding. The one I got kicked out of for being gay. I always wondered why they had kept me at all, and why they took so long to get rid of me.

Right now, I'm wondering why they didn't just kill me when they found out I was gay.

Now a small family lived there, a wife and husband, a son and daughter. A perfectly happy family lived in a house that once was filled with torment and covered in the blood of a little boy.

Sora was my escape during those days, and he was my lifeline when I was thrown out. Really, he was the only reason I lived-and honestly, he still is my only reason for living.

He'd probably be happier if I was gone.

"Axel...phone for you," Larxene said, shoving her cell phone into my hand.

I eyed her suspiciously, and took the phone. "Hello?"

"Axel? Honey?"

Er, that's awkward. "Uh, hi, mom..."

"Axel, sweetie, come home," she said.

"Uhm, okay... I'll be there soon..." I said, and hung up. I looked at Larxene. "Apparently, she loves me again. So I guess I have to stop freeloading. See you Monday."

I was welcomed into my home with a hug, a rare occurrence between my mom and I. My arms were pinned to my sides by her hug, so I couldn't exactly hug her back. After some awkward swaying, she released me and I dumped my bag in my room and went to sleep on my bed.


	11. Last Embrace

"Roxas, where are you?" I muttered as I left Hayner's house. He wasn't there, but it was the first place I checked. Pence also hadn't seen him, and hadn't even known Roxas ran away.

"Kairi, is Roxas with you?"

"No, Sora, I'm sorry. Me and Namine haven't heard from him."

"I see," I said, frowning. "Thanks anyways."

I had been searching nearly two hours when I finally decided to rest on the edge of a fountain.

"Roxas?" I heard the name and excitedly looked up, only to realize they had mistaken me for Roxas.

"No, I'm Sora...have you seen Roxas?" I asked hopefully.

"No...why? Aren't you his... brother or somethin'?"

I looked at the person. Demyx? "Well... I guess we're like brothers, aren't we?" I grinned. "He still hasn't come back... I wish he would, but... he's gone, isn't he?"

Demyx frowned. "He's not coming back because of Riku," he said, rubbing his neck. "But I suppose they didn't tell you 'bout that whole thing, huh?"

"Riku...told me. I... kicked him out."

Demyx nodded. "So it's just a matter of finding him and telling him to go home, isn't it?"

I nodded. "But that's my problem."

He patted me on the back and smiled reassuringly. "You two are like brothers, so maybe you should try asking yourself. Maybe then you can find him."

"Thanks, Demyx...I think."

"No problem, buddy!" He said as he ran away waving after the retreating form of Zexion.

"Try...asking myself, huh?" I said under my breath as I laid back on the edge of the fountain, watching the sky. "If I were Roxas, where would I be?"

_Blue eyes as bright as the sky opened to a world of darkness. __**Where am I?**__ He thought, memories of nights past flashed before his eyes.__** That's right...I'm here... **_

_ "I am one part of a whole. My other part is gone from this world."_

_ "Me...too."_

_ "I've come here to be reunited with him."_

_ "Me...too."_

_ "Then wake up, and open your eyes." _

Sora woke with a start as he found himself in a fountain. "How'd I get here?" He asked. "I guess I fell asleep. What a weird dream."

Sora got out of the fountain, and looked around. The area was empty except for a figure in a black coat with the hood up, staring at the ground, hands stuffed in the coat's pocket. Being that he was Sora and skipped over the whole 'stranger danger' lecture by attacking his mother with cuddles, he delightfully approached the figure, sticking a wet hand out. "Hiya, I'm Sora! What's your name?" He asked excitedly, grinning wide.

The figure glanced up at Sora, but not enough to see the face masked in darkness, and shook the hand, pulling the drenched boy down into a hug, before quickly setting Sora onto the bench as they walked away.

"Um, okay...then? That didn't answer my question, but if you didn't want to talk, you coulda just said so..." Sora mumbled to the retreating figure, too quiet for them to hear. He sighed and sat on the bench, staring at the form of the small figure when he noticed an envelope laying on the ground a few feet in front of him. "Huh, that's kinda strange. I wonder if they dropped it?"

Sora walked over to the envelope and picked it up, finding upon examination that the discarded paper read "Axel," in small chicken-scratch writing that looked an awful lot like-

"Roxas?" Sora asked the wind, the letter almost slipping from his grip before he shoved it in his back pocket and ran after the figure. He knew it was probably a futile effort, since a good five minutes had passed before they had vanished from his sight, but the thought that his baby brother-well, cousin, really,-was so close to him and he hadn't been able to tell truly irked Sora.

After a good workout of running around the dark streets of Twilight Town for nearly half an hour, Sora stopped and slumped over at a table outside of McDonald's, sweat and tears pouring down his face as he tried to wipe them away with his still-damp sleeve.

"Oh, the letter...I guess I should give it to Axel, huh?" Sora thought, pulling out his phone before realizing he didn't have Axel's number. Mildly impatient, Sora texted Kairi, his best friend, who was semi-nocturnal pretty much all the time. Within a few minutes, Kairi responded, giving him the number and asking if everything was alright. Sora texted a quick "yeah & thx" back before calling the number.

Now, naturally my first response to an unknown call on my phone at the obscene time of two in the morning is to press the end button and go back to sleep. However, after doing this five times for the same number in the span of ten minutes, I gave in and answered with a groggy and rather annoyed sounding "what the fuck do you want, kid?"

"Axel?"

"Yeah, who the fuck is this?"

"This is Sora! I'm so sorry about waking you up, but this is really important!"

"Sora... how did you-? Never mind. What the fuck do you want?" Seriously, this better be a life or death situation, or I'mma shoot a bitch. Not even kidding.

"It's about Roxas," he said, and I heard a shuttering breath from the line. "I think he tried to contact me, but I didn't know it was him, and then there was this crazy ninja hug flip thing and I was where he was a minute before and then he walked away and I guess he dropped this letter or something and I picked it up and it said Axel so I texted Kairi and got your number so I could call you and here we are!"

_Dear god, _I thought, rubbing my face, _this guy's worse then Demyx!_ "Okay, so what the hell do you want me to do about this, Sora? It's two in the god damned morning, so if you expect me to haul my ass out to wherever the fuck you are, you're going to be sorely disappointed."

"Oh no worries, Axel, I'll come to you!" He said happily, hanging up before I could protest.

A few minutes later, while I pondered how he knew where I lived, a crashing noise erupted from the small half-bathroom attached to my room, and the sliding door opened revealing none other than a cold looking Sora.

"Hey, Axel! Long time no see!" Sora said, tackling me backwards onto my bed.

I froze, and for several perfectly reasonable reasons. One, I wasn't close to Sora, and here he was, hugging me while I was only in my boxers. Two, the freak had just climbed into my home through the bathroom window at two AM, granted he had called first. Third, he was cold and, to my displeasure, damp. Not a pleasant awakening.

"Erm, hi, Sora...wanna get off me?"

Sora pouted as he removed himself from me.

"You said you had a letter or somethin'?" I muttered, yawning.

Sora nodded excitedly and handed me the letter, grinning like a fool. I took it from him, and studied it. It did, in fact, hold my name on the back of the envelope. I was going to put it on my bedside table when Sora's hand caught me by the wrist. "Aren't ya going to read it, Axel?" He asked, confused.

"Er, yeah, I just need light..." I said, quickly saving myself from whatever ungodly punishment would become of Sora's wrath.

He nodded in agreement and let me get up to turn the light on.

"How'd you even know where I lived, anyways?"

"Kairi," Sora said, grinning.

_Oh, that explains it._ I thought with a yawn as I made quick work of the envelope and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

I opened it with a sigh, to appease the monster who sat on my bed. "Why didn't you just open it yourself, Sora?"

"That would be an invasion of privacy! I would never do that!"

"...you just climbed through your brother's ex's bathroom window at 2 am, and you're worried about that?-No, don't answer that. Just sit there and, uh, I don't know, do something quiet." I said as I unfolded the paper.

Sora did as he was told, staring off into space.

_Axel, or whoever is reading this, really,_

_ I guess this is a letter that I'll never send, eh? I mean, I ran away from home, broke up with a guy I kinda sorta really liked a little more than anyone else because by brother/cousin's douche bag of a boyfriend made me 'cause he's a douche...that sentence was redundant, but I digress. _

_ I don't really know what to say. I don't really think you care, 'cause I mean, why would you? I'm just some kid you barely know who you dated for a little while and then fucked and got dumped by. But maybe you do, at least enough to know that I'm really sorry about this, since Sora's probably off the wall worried about me, even though I know he'd rather have Riku than a lame-o like me. Hah. So much for bros before hos. _

_ Anyways, thank you for being the first person to ever actually listen and give a damn. I'm sorry I didn't tell you shit, and still haven't, and probably never will. I don't really think it matters what I say anymore, 'cause you're the only one who would listen and you probably hate me by now, huh? I'd hate me, if I were you. _

_ I really wish I could have gotten to know you before all this shit happened. You seem like a pretty cool guy. But, unfortunately, I don't think I was meant to get close to anyone, you know? It took all the shit with Riku to realize that I really did feel something for you, even if it wasn't some story-book romance with all the sparks flying and shit. Riku was cold and clammy. It was kinda repulsive, I feel sorry for Sora. But you were warm, and I felt...comfortable with you, I guess. _

_ I can't get him out of my head. My twin, my other half. He's been haunting my thoughts lately, and I just can't take it anymore. I think it's a sign. He wants me to join him. I...kinda want to join him. I've missed him a lot, you know? So I guess I'll probably be gone before you find this, assuming you ever do. I really wanted to thank you for being so nice, but I guess I won't ever have the chance, will I? It's not like I'll ever see you again-you wouldn't like it where I'm going, I don't think. People as dirty as me don't get to go to nice places. _

_ Please, if you do see Sora, (once again assuming you read this), tell him I'm sorry, and I loved him a lot. Also tell him not to blame himself, or Riku. I chose to do this of my own accord, because I wanted to. Some of us just weren't built to last._

_ And if you're still reading this, or just skipped the ramblings in the center (I would), Axel, I'm sorry. I shouldn't say this, -because hell, I barely knew you,- but damn, you're awesome and I love you. Sorry you got caught up in all of this, and I hope you can help Sora cope, 'cause Riku's a douche and would probably just say "oh well!" and make Sora cry more. _

_ So yeah, um, I never learned how to end letters properly,_

_ -Roxas._

God_damn_. Was this a suicide letter? Fuck. It was, wasn't it? I glanced over at Sora. "Sora?"

"Yes, Axel?"

"I think we need to find Roxie, and soon."

"That's what I've been _trying _to tell everyone!"

"No...I mean, Sora, Roxie's not okay right now, we need to find him _now,_" I said, pulling on some pants and a random sweatshirt from the floor, hoping they weren't anything embarrassing as I shoved my feet into a pair of tennis shoes, grabbing my phone and dragging Sora out of the house with me and down the street.

I dunno why, but all the sudden, Axel's panicking like crazy. Wonder what was in that letter. Maybe Roxas is holding Axel's best friend hostage? That must be it! Oh no, poor Axel! I'd be pretty desperate to get to Roxas too.

We've been looking for hours now, and the sun's starting to rise. It's so pretty, I kind of just want to sit with Riku and watch it.

_Riku..._I thought solemnly, biting my lip as tears threatened to slow me in my hunt for Roxas. _How could you do something like this?_ I'll admit it, I was kind of pissed at the guy. Okay, that was an understatement. I was _really _pissed at him. But imagine how Roxas and Axel must feel...Riku tore them apart, too. Axel was the first glimpse I had at how Roxas used to be...before Ven...well. Before Ventus OD'd on the bathroom floor with painkillers.

Roxas had never been exactly _happy_, and he was always kind of a downer, but he was never so... empty before Ventus left us. It was like without him, Roxas didn't know what he was doing. He was just kind of...letting life slip away. He hadn't so much as smiled until he met Axel. The day he came home from Axel's house he was so happy and supportive-if not annoyed at having to fix dinner AND me and Riku's relationship problems.

I guess I wouldn't be having too many of those, anymore.

I shook away the thought and swallowed away the sob that threatened to escape my throat. Roxas was more important. He was family-one of the last remaining members of my family, at that. I was his cousin on his mom's side, so Namine wasn't related to me, since they had different moms.

But that's not important! Dang it, brain! We need to find Roxas, not think about silly things like genetics and family trees!

It was then that I realized that I had lost Axel, and was completely and utterly alone in a part of Twilight Town that I didn't recognize-and frankly wasn't sure was even a part of Twilight Town.

The thought of being so alone... scared me.

"Roxas... I need you..." The words escaped my lips as I fell to my knees, breaking down right there in the middle of the sidewalk in front of a shady looking pawn shop and a small pub.

Thank you so much, P5hng-Me-AWy, for your review! 8D Pretty much made my day. XD


	12. The Hunt for a Blond Boy

I don't know what I've been doing the past few days, but I know it's probably not healthy. The past few days since I left Hayner's has been spent outside on the streets in a blur. I keep seeing him, he's everywhere I go. I try to catch him, but he runs—-either off the edge of the tower, in front of a train, or in the middle of traffic. And every time, his voice whispers "_that should have been you, brother,_" into my ear and disappears.

I admit I miss him, but who wouldn't miss their dead twin? The one that they had run away from home with to escape stupid parents and a hurricane at age ten. He was the perfect twin, I guess, always excelling at academics whereas I floundered around in math and science. I was the antisocial twin, but Ven was like Sora, always able to make friends where ever he went.

It should have been me who OD'd on the bathroom floor. I was the crazy one. I was the one who wasn't listened to. I was the one who only had Ventus. I was the twin who hated his life, Ven was in love with life.

But in the end, it was all a ploy, wasn't it? A trick. Ven wasn't happy. Ven was unstable. Damaged from birth. And me? I was useless. What kind of twin can't tell when his other half was hurting? A really crappy one. I deserve to die.

No one would miss me.

_That's not true! What about Sora? _A voice said, though like usual it was just me, conflicting my thoughts. "Sora doesn't care. Sora loves Riku, not Roxas," I muttered to the wind.

_That's not true and you know it! Namine, Kairi, Sora, Hayner, Olette, Paine, Rikku and Pence would all miss you because they all love you very, very much! _

_ "_Yeah, right. They don't care about me. I've been trying to reach out to them for _years _and not one of them ever lent a hand."

_Oh Roxie, what goes through that blond little head of yours? Silly boy... Everyone loves you and cares about you. You just...have to reach out to them, and tell them how you feel. How are they supposed to know if you never tell them what's wrong? _

"I know, I know... but I can't tell them. They'd laugh at me. They wouldn't help me. They'd think I was disgusting and leave me," I said with a sigh.

_Roxas, what about Axel? He didn't want to let you go... I'm sure he cared. You told him... he listened. Didn't that help? _

"Not really."

_Oh you've __**got **__to be kidding me, Roxas. You can't lie to me! I'm you! God, you're so stubborn. _

I blinked. Oh yeah. Kinda talking to myself, aren't I? Who knew you'd scold yourself for lying to yourself. Then again, it's been mentioned I'm not exactly normal. But what can I do? You start to lie to yourself when you're stuck inside your head.

I sighed, shaking my head. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore," I said, once again to the wind. "I'd done so good, talking to myself only inside my head, but here I go again, talking to the sky. Talking to walls. Talking to anything that I can imagine the other voice to be. Heh. I guess I really am crazy, aren't I?"

I frowned. The usually insistent voice was quiet-for once in my life my thoughts were gone, and everything was so quiet, all I could hear was my ears ringing. Ringing so loud that I-

"Whoa! What was that?" Axel said, breathless. He'd just had the sensation of being kicked in the stomach, minus the foot. "Weird... I guess I'm just tired...right Sora?"

He looked around, only to find he was alone. "Damn kid must've wandered off. Well, whatever, he'd probably just slow me down."

A shriek broke out from down the street, making him jump with a start. Twilight Town at five in the morning? Scary place. Kinda empty.

Axel was not, however, prepared to be tackled to the ground from behind. He groaned as the impact made him sprawl out on the concrete. "What the fuck? Get off me!" He growled, squirming out from his attacker.

"Whoops, sorry Ax. Didn't think ya'd fall like that," said none other than Demyx.

_Great...now I gotta deal with this guy? The gods are not on my side...Or Roxas's either..._ He thought, grimacing slightly at the last part. "Sorry Dem, I'm a little busy hunting down little blond boys."

Demyx backed away, eyes wide. "Axel, that's not right!"

"Chill, I'm talking about Roxie. Now go away."

"I wanna help!"

He scowled. "Where's Zexion?"

"He's at work, I walked him there, but he said I distract him too much, so he told me to go home," he said, skipping along side of Axel.

"Well, how about you go that way," he said, pointing behind him, "and I'll go the other way, that way we can cover more ground."

"Wow, you're as smart as Zexy, Axel! That's a great idea!"

Axel nodded as he went back to what he was doing-walking through Twilight Town trying to find Roxas so he wouldn't be found dead in an alley or splattered across the sidewalk. I don't particularly want to be Sora's other shoulder to cry on. Roxas should be that person, he was the brother. I didn't even know Sora that well. Other than the fact that his boyfriend pretty much raped mine.

Er, well, he _was_ my boyfriend. Then again, at one point Riku was too. A really, really long time ago. Like... middle school long ago. That was an awkward time for me.

So basically I'm trying to save my ex from killing himself because his cousin's fiance who is also my ex blackmailed him while I was still dating him.

Well, that was mildly confusing. I really shouldn't confuse myself like this on such little sleep.

I jumped when my phone went off, blasting some random Naruto theme... I forget which one, but that's not the point-my phone was ringing. I fished it out of my jeans and flicked it open. "Hello?"

"Axel! Where the hell are you?"

"Um, trying to find my friend so he doesn't throw himself off a building," I said, annoyed.

"I don't care if some friend is about to off himself! You get back here now, before I call the cops!"

"What the fuck, mom? That's like indirect murder! I'm not going to jail because you're fucking PMSing!" I said, ending the call with a growl and turning my phone off so I wouldn't have to deal with her calling every five minutes.

I don't care if she fucking calls the cops on me, I'm not going back there until I find Roxas and get him to stop being an emo twat.

"Ventus... You want me to join you, don't you?" I said, slightly dizzy still. I stood on top of the clock tower, in front of the ledge. I must have passed out or something, but somehow I got all the way up here from where I'd been on the sidewalk prior to passing out.

Ventus wasn't there. Who am I kidding? My mind is just making up excuses to kill myself. I just want out, I need release. I can't take all the stress, all the days spent inside my head anymore. I can't stand being so dirty anymore... I...

I'm standing on the ledge now, looking down, eyes closed. "This is it, isn't it? A strong enough wind, and it might be over sooner than I can jump..."

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING YOU ASS?"

I jumped at the voice, stumbling backwards and falling off the ledge to safety. I expected to fall on my ass and maybe hit my head causing a concussion, but instead I was met with warm arms, holding me tightly as we slammed into the clock tower.

"Lemme alone!" I shrieked, more hysteric sounding than I would have liked as I struggled in the strangers arms.

"Hell no, you ass. You are _not _tossing yourself off this tower. This is _my_ fucking tower, Roxas. You don't get to toss yourself off here."

I growled at the person, scrambling around more.

The arms loosened slightly before I was turned around and crushed to a warm chest. I hadn't realized how cold it was out.

The chest I was currently crushed against was covered in a white fleece sweatshirt with a giant pink heart in the center-which led me to believe that this was most likely Sora, but the voice was all wrong.

I caught a glimpse of red, and realized it was hair-_Axel._ "How do you know that's what I was doing? Maybe I was just looking at the sunrise..."

"Because you wrote a goddamned letter, dumb-ass. Now stop being a fucking angsty teen and get the fuck over yourself. Yeah, your life sucks, you have no friends, and you hate everyone. Doesn't mean you get to defile the sanctity of my favorite spot, kid."

Honestly, this guy was pissing me off. "What do you care? No one would miss me." What letter did I write? I honestly don't remember writing him anything. Then again, the last few days have been mostly a blur of chasing a ghost-literally.

"Like hell they wouldn't. Sora's been crying his ass off since you left, and I dunno if you knew this, but when Sora's crying, he makes it seem like you killed his puppy or something. It's not cool," he said, still crushing me against his chest. "You didn't get hugged enough as a child. That's what your problem is."

"I got hugged plenty, now let go of me, you bastard."

"Hah, that's funny since you're the bastard," he said, still refusing to let me go. "C'mon, Roxie baby, let's go get some coffee and bother short blue haired nerds and then we can talk and you can pull your head out of your ass and we can all live happily ever after. Well, except maybe Riku. Sora kinda hates him right now."

"Sora doesn't hate him," I said crossly. "Sora doesn't have the capacity to hate someone."

"Shush, I didn't want to insult your family."

He was honestly trying to turn this all into some kind of joke, wasn't he? "Fine... buy me coffee." I hadn't had coffee in a hell of a long time, hadn't eaten in a couple days.

Axel merrily pulled me along as we scaled the stairs, me slightly swaying and stumbling, and we walked to the small cafe-chain thing that spread throughout Twilight Town within the last few years.

"Hello, Zexy! It's a wonderful morning to be saving suicidal fuckers, isn't it?" Axel shouted as he entered the nearly empty cafe. It was really just the workers there, and one guy who sat at his laptop sipping at a drink, not even looking up at Axel.

"That sounded like sarcasm, Axel," the slate haired boy behind the counter said quietly, continuing to clean off the counter with a rag. "Do you need something?"

"Uh, yeah, actually. Two coffees and a scone would be awesome."

"Axel...this is a coffee shop. You have to specify what kind of coffee you would like."

Axel sighed. "So complicated... okay, then. Roxas, what would you like?"

I shrugged.

"Fine then, don't choose something. Um, I guess two small hot chocolates," he said, pulling out his wallet. Zexion spewed a random number and Axel handed him some amount of money and then a few minutes later Axel shoved me down at a table and gave me a hot chocolate and a scone.

I eyed the scone suspiciously as I drank the warm chocolate-y goodness that is hot chocolate.

"I will shove that down your throat, Roxas."

I looked up at him wearily. "Good, maybe I'll choke to death."

Axel blankly stared at me, and then started laughing. "Roxas, you don't even have a gag reflex. Me shoving pieces of scones down your throat won't kill you."

How did he-oh. Well, that was embarrassing. Just go spewing about my sex life, why don't you? Whatever. Not like it matters anyways.

Axel slammed a piece of paper down in front of me. "This is the letter you wrote me, and dropped in front of Sora, which resulted in him _climbing through my window at 2 in the fucking morning and dragging me out of my bed to find your ass_," he said, seething slightly.

Note to self; Axel likes his sleep.

Why am I making a note of that? It's not like it matters...

_You like him, _said that pesky voice in the back of my mind. _You like him and you know you do._

"I didn't write any letters. I was fully conscious at that time, I would have remembered."

Axel seemed to ponder this, but then shook his head, as if dispelling any thoughts against his prior assumption. "It's your handwriting, Sora said so."

"It's not my hand writing. The Y's are all wrong. I do sharp ones, they did round ones, see? I didn't write this note." I also noted that the spacing was too small, I use really big spaces.

"Then someone who knew exactly what you were thinking wrote this, didn't they?"

"I guess they would have to, wouldn't they?"

"Hm, the person who wrote this letter was rather social, judging from the spacing. Someone who likes to be close to others-Axel, is it possible that Sora forged this letter?"

Axel shook his head. "I have to believe that a) Sora's not that much of a schemer, and b) if he'd wanted me to help him, he would have just told me that on the phone, not came and gave me the letter," he said, looking at the slate haired boy who was now studying the letter.

"Well, why don't we call Sora? He said he saw the person who dropped the letter, didn't he?" I asked, tilting my head slightly as I put down my coffee cup. I liked mysteries.

Axel nodded, pulling out his phone and pressing a few buttons.

"Axel?"

"Hey Sora, I got Roxie. He said he didn't write the letter, so we're just curious as to who did; can you describe the person?"

"Hmm, well they had their hood up so I didn't see a face or hair..."

"Well, what were they wearing?"

"A black hoodie, black jeans, and black shoes. They were about my height, I think."

I nodded and thanked Sora for the information. Roxas was wearing a white and black checkered hoodie with red skinny jeans-clearly he would have had to change and it looked like he'd been wearing those clothes for a few days. Plus, he ran away-where would he have gotten more clothes?

"Well, now I'm slightly concerned about who wrote this," I said, rubbing my neck.

"It wasn't me, at least."

"Hey, Roxie?"

"Yes, Axel?"

"I love you."

Roxas blinked and then stared, and then coughed. "Um, sorry? What?"

I smirked, sitting back. "You heard me, I didn't stutter."

He bit his lip, looking down at his hands, which were wrapped around the hot chocolate. "I-,"

"ROXAS!"

Roxas blanched, eyes wide, as his name was screamed, a frantic Sora wrapping his arms around the boy's shoulders. "H-hi, Sora..."

"Oh my god don't you ever do that again do you know how worried I was? I thought you were dead in a ditch and that I'd never see you again and oh my god I can't believe what Riku did to you, you poor baby I'm so sorry, Roxas just please come back to me I need you," Sora said, all in one frantic breath so that the last few words were only a squeak.

I gotta give the kids some props, he's got a pretty good set of lungs. "See, Roxie? Sora loves the shit outta you."

Roxas nodded slowly. "Sora, can you...let go of me?"

"Oh my gosh, Roxas, are you hurt?" Sora said, unzipping the hoodie as he straddled the blond, searching for any sign of abuse. "What are these bruises from, Roxas?"

Roxas flushed. "Erm, well," he stuttered.

"Those were from when I fucked him a couple days ago, Sora."

"Wh—What? Axel! Don't be crude! We are in a public place!"

I held my hands up in defeat. "Sorry, sorry, just trying to explain some stuff," I said, rolling my eyes. Sora was such a spazz. "We still don't know who wrote the letter, though."

"Actually," Roxas said, shoving Sora off of him, "I think I do know, but I don't think it really matters, does it?"

I met his eyes, studying them. _"Who did you lose?" _Ventus. He had spoke of a late brother, hadn't he? "You think it was him, Roxie?"

"I'm not crazy, Axel," he said, snarling slightly.

"Of course you aren't. Honest question."

Roxas looked away. "It's not my handwriting."

Sora, by this point, was looking between us, bewildered. I smiled at him, and he shrugged and went to the counter to pester Zexion, who'd gone back to work.

"Hey Roxas?"

"What?"

"I was serious."

"About what?"

"What I said," I met his eyes. "You know, before."

A look of understanding crossed his face. "I, uh, I-"

"Don't say it unless you mean it, Roxas. I don't care if you don't feel the same."

Roxas looked away, biting his lip again, and nodding slightly. "Thank you, Axel...for everything," he said, quietly.

"Oh no problem, I totally live for hunting down my ex's and hauling them from the clock tower kicking and screaming at five in the morning to bother Zexion."

Roxas smiled, laughing a little. "I'm sorry, you didn't have to."

"That's what people do, when they care about something. They protect it. Even if it's just from the thing they're trying to protect."

"Axel?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

I blinked. "No problem?"

"Oh, Roxas, I guess I ought to tell you, Riku told me what happened, and I kicked him out. So you can come home again," Sora said, stuffing his face with a danish. I'm starting to question if Demyx and Sora aren't somehow related or something, because they act fairly similar.

Roxas nodded. "You didn't have to do that, Sora... I know you love him."

"Roxas! Are you kidding me? You're like my baby brother! Anyone who hurts you gets the boot!"

"Sora?"

"Yeah, Roxas?"

"I'm not a baby."

Sora puffed out his cheeks, 'humph'-ing as he sat down in an empty chair. "Well fine. Be that way. But anyways, let's go home, Roxas! We can bring Axel too, since I woke him up and he's the one who found you," he said, standing up even though he _just_ sat down.

"Uh, yeah, sure," Roxas said, looking at me. "You can crash on the couch or whatever, I guess."

"Um, sure," I said, nodding as I stood up, shoving the untouched scone into Roxas's hand. "Sounds like fun." _Though to tell the truth, I'd rather be in your bed with you, but whatever. Sleep sounds good right now. _

"Hey Axel?"

Axel mumbled a sleepy response from where he lay half way over Roxas's lap, arms around the blond boy's waist.

"Why didn't you care that I cheated on you?"

Axel mumbled something about being a whore for a demon lord's bed.

With the next set of incoherent sleep-mumbling, Roxas officially gave up talking to Axel until he woke up, leaving Roxas with nothing better to do than shove Axel off of him so he could lay down on the couch next to him and sleep.

Sora had gone out to get milk, bread, and Kairi so that they could all enjoy a proper PB&J, since as everyone in Twilight Town knows, a proper sandwich cannot be made by Sora, nor sleeping Roxases or Axels, for the simple reason that Sora will cause them to explode, and the other two were a little bit out of it. See, there's a perfectly not sexist reason behind why they needed Kairi in their kitchen.

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww," was the first thing Roxas heard before he opened his eyes, and came face to face with big blue eyes lined with black eyeliner and mascara.

Axel groaned and rolled over, falling to the floor with a stream of mumbled curses. "The fuck was tha-Oh, ew, Kairi."

Kairi rolled her eyes. "Oh please, Axel. We all know you want a piece of this," Kairi said, gesturing to her body.

"Ugh, no. I know there were a couple incidents when we were younger, but I swear to god," he said, as he pretended to stick his finger down his throat. "Never. Again."

Kairi pouted. "I'm not that bad! Tell him, Sora!"

Sora slammed his back against the wall, looking around like he'd just been accused of stalking someone. "I, uh, well..."

"Sora?"

"I'm sorry, Kai-Kai, but you were really bad back then," Sora said, preparing to be beaten.

Kairi shrugged. "I was only twelve, after all."

"Is there food yet?" Roxas asked, finally sitting up. His eyebrows twitched in irritation, though he wasn't sure why.

"Yep! There's a bunch of PB&J's in the kitchen."

"Awesome," Roxas said, grinning as he jumped over the back of the cream-colored couch and onto the dark blue carpet. "I haven't eaten anything but that scone for days," he said, grabbing a sandwich and ripping it apart as he devoured it.

Axel calmly grabbed one and ate it at a normal pace, because he was remotely normal-and still half asleep. He glanced over at Roxas, now on his third sandwich, and smirked. He seemed so much happier, it was kind of weird.

Roxas glanced up at Axel, smiling as he swallowed.

Axel's eyes narrowed. "Hold still a second, there's something on your face," he said, inching closer to Roxas's face with his own—

-and using his sleeve to wipe from Roxas's cheek down to his chin, smirking.

"Ah, Axel... what was that for?" Roxas said, rubbing his cheek.

"There was something on your face, I wiped it off. What, did you expect me to lick it off? I'm not a dog, you know."

Roxas looked away, biting his lip. "I didn't expect you to molest my cheek with your sleeve," he said, quietly. "_Though I wouldn't have minded if you'd kissed it away," _Roxas added, just below a whisper.

"What was that, Roxie?"

"...nothing," he said, eyes glued to the floor.

Axel rolled his eyes. "You coulda just said so, Roxie," he said, lifting Roxas's chin up and pressing his lips to the other boy's.

"Ew, Kairi, Roxas and Axel are doing naughty things in my kitchen!"

Kairi ran out and slid into the kitchen, hip slamming Sora into the counter. "Ewwwww," she said, and stared at the two.

Axel smiled against Roxas's lips, pulling away and shooting a playful glare at Kairi.

"Come at me, bro!" Kairi said, sticking her chest out at him.

Axel returned the gesture, despite the awkwardness of their height difference, before busting out in laughter that infected everyone.

A/N: Thank you for the reviews! :D They make me happy inside and stuff. XD

Anyways, this is pretty much the last chapter, since the next one is basically just gunna be an epilogue thing...'cause I'm lame like that. 8D

On a pointless note, I really want a PB&J now. Darn you, lack of peanut butter! *shakes fist at sky*****


	13. In the End

I guess it's kind of weird to think that just a few weeks before that all happened, I wouldn't have given two shits if Roxas had thrown himself off the tower. But now? Now I would probably toss myself off too.

I never thought I would be one of those people, you know? I never thought I would live on the smell and the feel of another, thrive on their every word. I always figured I would be alone the rest of my life and die alone in my bathtub. I guess fate or whatever controls our paths decided differently.

So, that's why, after two years of being perfectly happy as Roxas's boyfriend, I'm sitting at a desk in Zexion's study, stressing so much I'm pulling at my spiked hair trying to figure out a way to ask.

Yeah, that's right. I'm going to ask for his hand. Not his literal hand, no, that would be flippin' weird.

"Why don't you just...say it?"

"Oh sure, Zexion, I'm just gonna walk up to him and say 'Hey babe, wanna get married so we can have an excuse to fuck more than usual in strange places?'"

"Well, yeah, that's what Demyx did."

I groaned and slammed my head into the desk repetitively. "I really, _really_ don't think that'd be a good way." We could have sex anywhere in the apartment, married or not. "C'mon, Zexy, help me think of something!"

"Hmm, why don't you just... do what feels right? Improvise. You're better at that, as you've shown on multiple occasions..." Zexion said, annoyed slightly. He was referring to how I always managed to go off on tangents during his schemes and act on my own.

"Yeah... I guess so..."

"pssst, Roxas! Psssssssssstttttttttttttttttt."

"What the fuck do you want?"

"C'mere!"

Roxas groaned, pulling himself off the couch as he trudged into the kitchen, and doubled back. "Dude, why is there fire on my table?"

"Roxas. They're candles. Don't worry about it."

Roxas nodded, looking at his partner suspiciously. "What's all this about?"

"I can't believe you forgot, Roxas!"

"Shit, is it our anniversary? No... fuck, it's the middle of summer. What the fuck Axel?"

"Roxas, this is really sad. You don't even remember your own birthday?"

Oh. _Oh._ "Heh, guess I forgot, huh?" He said, blushing. "You...you didn't have to do all this, Ax..."

Axel waved it off. "Of course I did, I love seeing you smile."

Roxas blushed more. "Stop that! You just want to make me swoon so you can get laid, don't you?"

Axel rubbed his neck. "Actually..."

"You're...breaking up with me? After two years?"

"No no no no!" Axel said, waving his hands frantically before putting them on Roxas's shoulders and looking into the boy's eyes. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes.

"Please tell me you aren't pregnant," Roxas said, smirking.

"I'm sorry, Roxas, I think I am. I haven't gotten my period...ever. I don't know who the father is, but I think...I think it might be Larxene's."

Roxas laughed, patting Axel on the back. "It's okay, buddy. We'll raise it as our own with lots of love and care, even if it is related to the devil herself."

Axel grinned. "That's not what I wanted to talk about, though, Roxy," he said, getting down on his knees.

"Hey, now. No blow-jobs before dinner, Ax."

Axel glared up at his boyfriend. "So not what I was doing, Roxas," he said, pulling one knee up, and taking out a box. "Wanna get married and watch Grey's Anatomy together until we get old and die?"

Roxas blinked. "Skip the Grey's Anatomy part, and sure. I really hate that show."

Axel grinned, slipping the ring onto Roxas's ring finger. "I do too, but don't tell Sora. He might beat me up," he whispered, standing up and kissing Roxas on the nose. He sighed in relief. "You have no idea how glad I am you didn't start bawling your eyes out or-dammit, Roxas! Why the hell are you crying?"

Roxas shook his head, grinning. "I'm just...happy. You'd been acting so strange lately, I thought for sure there was someone else, and I just- I'm sorry," he said.

Axel gathered Roxas up in his lap, kissing the tears away, holding him into his shoulder.

"Sora?"

"Mol mon," Sora said around a mouth full of toothpaste and a toothbrush. Sora quickly spit out the toothpaste and rinsed his mouth, grabbing his coat as he met the person at the door. He grinned.

"God I missed you," the person said, pulling Sora into a hug, breathing in the boy's scent.

"I missed you too, Ri-Ri," he said into the man's chest.

Despite what had happened between them, Roxas somehow managed to move past his hatred towards Riku, saying that he just wanted Sora to be happy. Sora, however, had still not completely managed to forgive Riku, and was keeping it to just friendship-anymore than that and he'd just get scared Riku would cheat again.

Sora didn't mind being single too much, he'd always been with Riku so he'd never really experienced the joys of flirting with random guys in bars until now.

"Hey, Axel?"

"Yeah, Namine?"

"How do you know when you want to propose to someone?"

Axel bit his lip. "Well, I guess when you know you're so in love with them that you want to spend forever waking up to their ugly mug until you get old and wrinkly and blind and then die."

Namine giggled. "How did you know when to ask Roxas?"

"I just told you, Namine. When I got over the idea of having to deal with his bitchy ugly mug every morning."

"Who's got a bitchy ugly mug, Axel?" Roxas said, cracking his knuckles.

"No one, dear," Axel called out, wincing.

"Yeah, better be no one," Roxas growled playfully.

"Go away, Roxy, we're trying to have a talk. Man-to-man."

Roxas raised an eyebrow, but left anyways.

"Women...I tell yah," Axel said, shaking his head.

"Seriously, though...how do you know you love someone?"

"When you can't bear the thought of living without them, and can't stand it when they're not smiling," Axel said, for once serious in his response.

"Is that how you felt towards Roxas?"

"That's how I feel towards him, yes. He's like a part of me, without him I don't know what I'd do. I'd probably start wearing skirts with a pair of pants on my head."

Namine raised an eyebrow. "That would be interesting to see," she said, smiling. "Though for you guys, I hope it's not something I ever do see."

Axel shrugged. "If I get drunk enough, sometimes it's accompanied by strip tease."

Namine grimaced. "I am never going to a party with you, Axel."

"Anyways, you get the info you needed, or do you need more guidance from the almighty encyclopedia of Axel?"

Namine smiled again. "No, I think that's it, thanks, Axel."

"Don't mention it."

A/N: AND THEN THEY ALL LIVED HAPPALY EVAR AFTAR.

So yeah, I guess basically Sora and Riku are friends, Roxas and Axel are married and do weird married people things, and Namine's thinking about proposing to Kairi.

Seifer and Hayner still haven't gotten it figured out, Pence is flyin' solo, Ollete hooked up with Selphy and Xion never existed. Yayyyyyy. XD Larxene's doing whatever Larxene damn well pleases 'cause she's Larxene. Yep.

Now...to disappear from society for a good month and get mauled by polar bear dogs and chickens. See yah~


End file.
